Hi all,
After 6 weeks of a lump on his neck and feeling rubbish, hubby (41) was told on Tuesday by a Head and Neck surgeon, that they think he has tonsil cancer, though can't find it on investigations so far (MRI, CT, OPG, PET). On Thursday he had his tonsils removed and biopsies of lymph node and base of tongue. We are praying that all cancer is inside the tonsil at histology. After the op, the surgeon said she didn't find anything abnormal-looking, and that he would likely require more treatment in the future. Followup, hopefully with histology, is on 8th Jan. He has gone from acceptance into denial, which is making things difficult, particularly for me, as I need to talk over things. We have four children ranging from 4 to 12 years of age, who we told together that the doctors think Daddy has cancer in his tonsil, but that they have taken the tonsils out.
Has anyone got any advice please? It all feels so surreal, but not...
Thank-you
Nat
I think denial at the point your hubbie's at is quite a normal response, I convinced myself at times that it was all a mistake and I'd get a phone call any day telling me as much; I can also see how difficult that is for you to cope with. It felt surreal at the time for me, continued to be surreal at times through treatment and still feels surreal looking back on it nearly five years later.
None of the scans found my primary either, turned out to be deeper in the throat than normal so they had to dig deep with the endoscope to eventually find it; some "primaries" are never found.
It's good that the surgeon saw nothing looking abnormal during the surgery but if it is confirmed as cancer they'll almost certainly give him a course of radiotherapy (possibly with chemo) to "mop up" the surrounding areas to make sure they've got it all. If this is the case he'll more than likely struggle to eat normally for a while so best to fatten him up over Christmas.
Must be very difficult with kids so young, my lot were between seventeen and twenty-seven when I was diagnosed so coped pretty well......to my face at least, later found out that between them and my wife they really struggled at times. I truly believe it's harder for loved ones than the patient themselves a lot of the time so I really do sympathise with you.
I know that's not really given you any advice (partners will be better for that) but I hope it's helped a little bit, please keep coming back and asking whatever you like; it's a traumatic time and I really wish you and your family all the best. H&N outcomes are very good and getting better all the time so (probably impossible I know) try to enjoy your Christmas and New Year and then face whatever comes at you; it's not easy but me and dozens of others on here are proof that there's a good life to be had on the other side of it.
Metastatic SCC diagnosed 8th October 2013. Modified radical neck dissection November, thirty-five radiotherapy fractions with 2xCisplatin chemo Jan/Feb 2014. Recurrence on larynx diagnosed July 2020 so salvage laryngectomy in September 2020.
Thanks, No, no Co-codamol either.
Will ring his gp tomorrow first thing - they are very obligingl so I'm sure they will prescribe. Hopefully he won't get the shakes as only been on it for five days 
.
Nat
