Hi - everyone

I am sorry but I am new to this platform  and should have done this  years ago
I had Achalasia when I was younger (27) I could not swallow for years.
It took them so long to find out what I had I was so relieved when I came of the liquid diet.
It all seemed to go ok until I had an exam (10 years ago) and Im still here. 
I just had a period of chemo which was productive  as the tumour was tiny. I now feel ok again but I just feel sick all the time. My mouth feels like I have been eating straw.
I get checked every 5/6 months which is great but keeps me feeling I am always falling on the end of a cliff.
I know I am OK for now  but I cannot get rid of this feeling as everyone thinks your ok but my head is fixated with this  (hope this makes sense).
I live in Spain originally the UK and the health system here is good.
I am not great at chatting with people but I have been through this for so many years. I have a support group which is great
Please do ask if you want more info as I sadly have a wealth of experience. Even just say Hi. 
I am going on my first holiday in ages and I am panicking. I just want to stop feeling so rotten after the load of pills. It is so hard to describe how I feel as I have had this and achalasia all my life. Any good tips to get rid of bird nest tongue? 
I just feel like I am a chore to allot of people. 
So here is my small rant about me
Please ask if you just want to chat. I have been well for years and it makes you very feel bad. They are moving forward in treatments. I guess I am lucky so far as if it wasn't having Achalasia at the beginning. Getting treated asap is always good whichever way you decide to go. Hugs to all of you x