My first message

Morning Ljo, don't worry this is a safe space you don't need to post any personal details. When you said she isn't coping well tell us a little more. How is her eating? We are here to help :) 

The Macmillan helpline is also free 08088080000 and there to support you. Again you wouldn't need to give personal details so if you give them a call they are trained to help people in your situation.

She’s very depressed , she’s been taken off her food tube for a while as after radiotherapy she’s managing a small amount of mushed up food . The cancer has spread to her bones and she’s on a lot of painkillers. She has just lost the will to do anything , it’s hard 

Really sorry to hear that it is a tough battle mentally. I haven't been in that position and have managed to stay positive in my bad so it's hard to give advice. I'm sure there are some in here who may give some advice. If you need to talk to someone I do recommend the number above I have called Macmillan and they are really easy to talk to and supportive. It is so hard for loved ones and the support is there for you to.

Thank you 

Hello LJo

Welcome to the forum, as Vinny said this is a safe space, and I hope that you will be able to find support and a listening ear here. 

Your Mum although finding things extremely difficult with the OC spread to her bones, seems to be showing slight improvement on her eating as you mention that she has had the feeding tube removed. That hopefully is a positive sign. 

Have the medical professionals offered any further treatment? has mum been tested to see if she is HER2 positive, her blood results will provide this information and if so this may offer an alternative therapy, but her MDTeam will know what is the best treatment for her.... 

There are alternative forums on her like Family and Friends, where you can chat with others who have loved ones dealing with Cancer. 

My husband was diagnosed almost two years ago, but the spread he has is different to your Mum's, and I think maybe it may be best to focus on Mum's mental wellbeing if she is suffering from depression as the professionals are focusing on her treatment, does she have a Cancer nurse who visits her?

Like Vinny mentioned, calling the Macmillan helpline is always a possibility, they may have further advise or ideas on the best ways to help Mum.. 

What about you... How are you coping. 

Lowe'