Wife's cancer

Hey Stewart - I just wanted to say how supportive you are being. I'm sorry the two of you are going through this, and I wish you both well in your journey.

Hi Stewart,

My heart goes out to you, my husband was diagnosed over a year ago so I understand how this turns your whole world upside down. 

Waiting for results can be horrendous, but the fact that there is no spread is really, really good news. I expect you are currently waiting for some biopsy results?  In my experience that can take around 2 weeks, and after that a plan for treatment can be put together. It is a lot to take in.. the only bits of advice I would give you right now is to take it one step at a time, come prepared with a notepad and any questions you have for the follow-up appointment, and remember that the journey is different for everyone.  

You say you are quiet but you do sound very supportive, hugs and tea are a good thing.  Do take care of yourself and eachother, there are some lovely people on here so don't hesitate to post or reach out if you have questions or need to talk. 

I wish you both the very best

x

Hi Stewart

So sorry to  hear you are going thru this.

My dad is very quiet too and only the last few months my mum and dad closer than ever.

Love to both of you and hope it all goes well x

Hi Stewart,

So sorry to hear of your wife's diagnosis.  I cared for my Mum when she was diagnosed.  It can be very lonely and worrying, as you feel you are the one who needs to look after her, yet most of the time you don't know what to do.  I fully understand what you are feeling.  But the best thing you can do is just be there for her.  

A cancer diagnosis is horrifying.  But it gives you the chance to spend time making memories - hug, kiss, laugh, and cherish the time you have with that person. Try to stay positive and don't focus on any negative things you may read.  No-one (either with cancer or not)  knows how long they have on this earth. Doctors sometimes give approximate time-frames, but they don't actually know;  they just base these on other cases.  But there are always exceptions.  I took a lot of comfort from these forums, reading various posts where people said they were given a short time-frame yet 5 years later they were still posting on the forums.     

My Mum was my best friend and recently died (peacefullyl, and I miss her like crazy.  She was elderly, and when diagnosed was given a 6-9 month prognosis.  She made it to 2 years, and during that time we lived, loved, and laughed.  I feel thankful that I had that time with her.

I wish you and your wife all the best.  Xxx

Stewart

Thats very good news that it has not spread. These early days are definitely the worst days of the journey. Try to look forward to each test and consultation- they will probably bring more good news.

Things have moved on since my surgery seven years ago. There is more emphasis on recovery, which is a long process. My advice is to let the medical and nursing team take the burden leaving you to care and love day to day. It certainly helped me to have a loving and supporting wife to care fore me. I’m sure you’ll be the same for your wife.

I’m healthier and happier than I was in the years leading up to my diagnosis. There is more joy and reward in life these days  (2,586 days to be exact)

Hi Stewart,  My hubby was diagnosed in January last year, but we were left in no doubt that he had cancer following his endoscopy in December 2019.  It's just a roller coaster journey, so many downs but also so many ups.  Being told you or someone you love has cancer just fills everyone with dread, I know my hubby had himself dead and buried on numerous occasions.  Waiting for scans to be performed then waiting for the results, then waiting for the biopsy and the results from that.  We went from being heartbroken to being ecstatic and then back again until we actually were given a plan of action.  All in all it took 6 weeks before all the tests were completed and a plan in place - probably would have been a shorter period of time if it wasn't Christmas holiday time.  Once you know what's ahead it gives you a focus.  In Alan's case it was 4 fortnightly sessions of FLOT chemotherapy, followed by Ivor Lewis surgery and a further 4 sessions of FLOT.  Unfortunately Covid interfered with this plan and his initial FLOT was extended to 6 sessions following the cancellation of surgery.  Following a further fitness test, which we did worry about as the chemo had not had a great effect on Alan, we were eventually given a date for surgery.  So many ups and downs but we all get through somehow.  So far recovery has been slow, probably to Alan's age (he's 68) and the fact that he'd never had a days sickness in his life before so had no idea what to expect.  He's now almost 10 months post op so we really can't complain.  Keep up the support, Many will need it but you also need to take care of yourself, sometimes the carers have it harder than the patient.  I wish you well and hope that you have many 'ups' to keep you on a positive and even keel.  Good luck to you both.

Jayne xx