Welcome from the Community team

Hello Eliza,

 My mother lost her battle with cancer overnight on Wednesday.

I got up at 7 am & looked in on her only to see her by her bedside on the floor. She was in a ball, her face was buried into the carpet. Initially I thought she was in a crying position, so I gently pulled her head upwards. Her whole body move with it, she had died over 2 or 3 hours earlier. She was totally stiff, rigour had already finished. When I saw her face I just crumbled, congealed blood from the nose & mouth, lots of it. And her eyes were open as if she was looking at me. About a foot away from her original position was a pool of dried blood, like she had bought it up from her lungs, one final exhalation of blood. I called paramedics to the house & they managed to straighten her out & then put her in bed. They cleaned her face as much as possible & then they kindly phoned the co-op funeral directors. They then left & 2 men in a blacked out van arrived to take mum to the co-op. I have not yet been to see her, I will do so on Monday. But they did call me today to inform me that the coroner had put the cause of death as lung cancer. He had phoned mums GP who told him that the original oesophageal had been vanquished, but it had got to the lung nodes, hence it was now lung cancer.

Our oncologist told us this devastating news at the end of March, stating that is was terminal & mum had between 9 & 18 months left. It actually took April, May, & 17 days of June to take her life away. That's 2.5 months. And she was doing really well, just the evening before I put her in bed, got her warm, cosy & relaxed. She smiled & said "See you in the morning, we'll do the shopping list". there wasn't anything that was out of the ordinary at that point, so I kissed her & said have a lovely sleep, night night mum. I was in total shock when I discovered her the following morning. I still cannot believe this happened so quickly to a person on an upward spiral, as stated by mums hospice nurse.

So I will be leaving the community for now, I have it all to do, paperwork, solicitors, registrar, cancelling mums private pensions, dealing with the bank & a building society, plus mum has an Isa. I have enough money for 2 years at this house, then I will have to sell or take in a lodger (and what would they be like after a month).

I may return to the community at a future date, but as of now I'm just not up to it, or many other things I normally do.

Eliza, I'm so very sorry to leave this wonderful forum but I feel helpless at this time, almost apathetic to everything. I hope you understand.  

My best wishes to you & all that have any type of cancer.

Regards,

Graeme (Pathfinder1).

Graeme,

I am so sorry to hear this.  It's hard to find the words but I can't imagine the shock you must have felt and my heart goes out to you.  I hope you are getting some support to help you through everything.  Sending you a huge hug

xx 

Graeme

I am sorry that I have only just read this, and further sorry that your Mum has lost her battle against this cruel and heartless disease, especially as it was believed that she was doing so well.

I know that you have mentioned that you will be leaving the forum, but please remember that we remain here for you, anytime... 

My heart goes out to you at this extremely sad time, but I also want to thank you for you involvement and support over the past months.

Take care of yourself sir.

Lowe'