Lymph node removal surgery this thursday - so scared

Let’s hope they crack it once and for all for you, life is so so unfair at times. Big hugs Steph xx

Hi Jules,

So sorry to hear that your battle continues. Fingers crossed that this will be your final skirmish. After everything you’ve already been through, you deserve the final victory. Best wishes

Oh Jules ! So sorry to hear your starting on another journey!! Good news that they feel they can remove it though will be thinking of you on Thursday sending big hugs keep chin up xxxx

Thinking of you Jules and wishing you the best possible outcome. 
G  xx

thank you CB, and other family members, trying to keep a grip, feel so angry that it feels like people are treating this like i am having a tooth out, wasting precious time arguing, crying, wanting to be left alone, then desperate not to be on my own.  I remember so clearly the silent journeys to the appointments, even the morning of the surgeries, so alone, mixture of flight, freeze and fight, had a 3 minute call to say hes going to take it out, forgot to ask about op time, drains, recovery time, risks, so perhaps thats why i am even more scared this time.

Was such a lonely awful time, i just cant face that again but i know i have to, ive got another chance for some more time, just have to make sure when i get out the other side i now chose how to spend it, make my own plans.

thank you all for reading, god help the poor tesco delivery man that is running 45 minutes late when he arrives, of all the days for it to go boobs up, whilst tomorrow is packing a bag, getting my drugs ready, and numb mode

jules xx

I’ll be thinking of you Jules Linda x

Good luck Jules you will be in my thoughts & prayers.

steph

Thinking of you lovely.  Breathe. Sending love and  hugs your way x

thank you all, youve always stepped up, feel so ashamed for being on a debbie downer, got some personal admin sorted, teams meeting with work tomorrow, great, just want to get it out of the way, our will nearly ready to be re written, some of the people on there, jesus, havent seen or heard of them for years, 90 year old auntie self tax assessment, thankfully we have got a call to sort that stress bubble out, and then maybe before thursday we can just bring things down a bit at home in a good way, just trying to find some nightwear and slippers, hoping to god i dont need those.

Think there has been so much anxiety, and anger with the whole thing coming back, the delays, the waiting, you think we would be good at this by now, seems not. One silver lining, we didnt book Dubai a month ago when we thought all of this cancer stuff was finally coming to an end. so hey.

Chinese takeaway tonight, stuff it, not gluten free, but whatever

Can feel the shoulders lifting a bit, just by sorting some things i have control of., and your kind words, Keep doing what ever you need to do

and thank you all, they say you cant chose your family but with this cancer, luckily the family has chosen and helped me.

Luv ya,

jules

I will be thinking of you.