Wife diagnosed with glioblastoma

HI RaymondY

a warm welcome the online community. So sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis and all that has been going on. Life's too cruel for words.

I supported my late husband through his glioblastoma journey so I can empathise with all that you are going through.

It is so hard to know what to do to help our loved one in that situation. I have said several times that throughout G's journey I have never felt so useless in my life. HIs tumour impacted his speech, language and general understanding primarily so a lot of his symptoms were more akin to dementia than cancer. 

I'm  not big on giving advice but I would encourage you to take any and all help that is offered. This is a gruelling journey for all involved on so many levels. Be led by what your wife wants or needs. If all she needs you to do is sit and hold her hand and  talk nonsense all day then that's what you do. This is a journey that you very much have to take a day at a time and one step at a time. It's a journey that takes endless patience.

This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone about to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer a virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.

It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

For now though I'm sending you both a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Thank you for your message of support, I too feel helpless as my wife’s condition deteriorates and communication is so much more difficult. It seems all too cruel and brutal for someone who was fit and healthy all her life. She was 70 recently and we have 45 years of marriage. I would love to have her at home but by myself I know I could not manage her safely. Maybe I can find a way of having her visit just for a few hours.

1. Thinking of you, it is very difficult to see someone change so much so quickly. I'd agree that it's important to get support. Enjoy the little things, sharing a coffee, looking at photos. Being together and talking is important x

My wife is losing her ability to coordinate her movements, so is unable walk and tends to slide down chairs. She is finding it increasingly difficult to swallow and cannot talk at all really. She needs hoisting to move from bed to chair and cannot wash or dress herself. She eats and drinks so little too she gets constipated. She can’t lift her own drinks and needs help feeding even if she wants to eat ( a soft diet now). So I sit next to her, hold her hand, encourage drinks and sometimes show her music videos from you tube that we both like. It is a wretched situation for her and the family. 

I am so sorry to read your account above RsymondY: it has strong similarities with what my late husband went through.It is so hard to observe and although you do your best to be upbeat, I know how how helpless you feel in this situation.

Constipation was a huge issue for us too and with the difficulty swallowing it was very hard to administer anything to relieve it.

It sounds as if you are doing a wonderful, supportive job. From my experience, it is these seemingly small things (that are really your doing all you can in as you say a wretched situation) that after the journey ends., you are so glad to have done.

Thinking of you and sending a virtual hug.

A

Thinking of you. You being there is the something very special.  I was advised to keep checking with medical professionals about swallowing as it can be dangerous even with medication when swallowing is difficult. Take care x

My wife died this morning, I am so devastated. 6 weeks from diagnosis to this. It is so difficult to take this in

Oh I am so sorry to hear this, RaymondY.  Hard as it is please take comfort from the fact that she is now at peace. 

Over the coming days/weeks/months please be gentle with yourself. You've been through so much in such a short space of time.

Please remember that this community is still here to support you as is MacMillan. You are not alone.

Sending love and light and hugs

Wee Me xxx

• I am so sorry to hear this news. Thinking of you and hoping you have support. You must be in absolute shock to have gone through all you have in such a short space of time and to have supported your wife and seen your wife go through all she has. It is very traumatic. Be very kind to yourself.

I am still very shocked at how quickly this has happened and my feelings are in a huge mess. I feel guilt that my love hasn’t kept her well and I question whether I held her hand enough. I visited town centre today and had a nice hot drink and cake with my daughter and her boyfriend, but walking past and through shops it all felt wrong because my wife wasn’t there. I know it is so early on regarding grief but it is very hard with having had such a small amount of time to adjust.  I need  to decide about funeral arrangements soon and I just don’t feel ready for that yet. And I feel so lonely without her.

RaymondY