Grief

Jessie 5 months ago

4 replies
20 subscribers
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Hi all

This may be my last post on here, I'm not sure yet though, I'd like to stay and help others but I'm just exhausted.

I updated that my brother died 9 days ago, literally 3 days later I ended up in hospital, seriously ill. I'm not saying that his illness contributed to it but I certainly didn't look after myself his last week. Wasn't eating or sleeping, sat by his bedside, my ankles swelled and I got dreadful cramps.

I'm home now and trying to do all the admin. My brother lived alone and had no children, for that reason I think I was so close to him. The grief is just horrendous, I cannot believe I'll never see him again.

The reason I'm posting this is so that I can offer one piece of advice, please, please look after yourselves, I knew that and still thought I could carry on regardless.

Much love to everyone on here, those who stayed to help others, those now embarking on the journey, those in the midst of it and those like me now consumed by grief

Wee Me 5 months ago

Oh Jessie, so sorry to hear that you ended up in hospital. I'm sending you healing love and light and strength.

I've commented previously on how tough a GBM journey is on all involved. By the time G passed I was totally burnt our mentally, physically and emotionally.. That level of exhaustion is not something that you shake off quickly- trust me! - but you will get there.

I wholeheartedly agree with your words of caution to others on here and would add that it is not selfish to take "me time" while you are supporting someone on the horrible journey. It's essential. You wouldn't let your phone percentage get to 0% so please don't do it to your own internal batteries.

Please be gentle with yourself over the coming days/weeks/months. Pace yourself with the immediate tasks that need your attention. Listen to your body and rest when it tells you too. Grief in itself is exhausting and overwhelming especially in the early days.

For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of love.

Wee Me xx

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Mrs uni 5 months ago

Oh Jess… I’m so sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you. This disease is horrific and it takes away everything. But you are still here and life still goes on and the world keeps turning.

Some days I just want to shout “stop the world and let me get off!”. When I look back to when my husband passed away in January this year, I just think how did I get here… I didn’t look after my self and I certainly didn’t want to be here without him, but here I am and here is where he would want me to be.

Just keep going, stay strong and start to look after yourself because your brother would want nothing less for you. Most of all, be kind to yoursrelf.

Grief is like a wave.. you have to ride it and go with it, and hopefully come out the other side no matter how long it takes.

Im thinking of you and sending you so much love and strength to get through this xxx

Jessie 5 months ago in reply to Wee Me

Dear Wee Me

Thanks for your kind reply and understanding. You're amazing to stay on here to help others. It will be 2 weeks tomorrow since we lost my brother, at the moment I'm trying to rest up after my hospital admission but busy doing probate forms etc. My brother left everything in a box and everything was in order, typically kind of him. Right now I'm missing him badly, visited our elderly Mum and expected him to walk in and say "make me a cup of tea" I can't believe I'll never see him again.

Lots of love and hugs to you xx

Jessie 5 months ago in reply to Mrs uni

Thanks so much dear Mrs Uni

You're right, he wanted me to get on with my life, I just can't right now, being unwell has just added to it all.

I'm so proud of you being able to be on here giving us support. Losing your husband must have been awful.

Take care, hugs to you xx

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