Support for family

Hi Ld65 welcome to the forum and I am so sorry to hear what is happening for your family..Your sister will cope in her own way and may amaze you ️.  I wonder if she just needs to know that her brother is there for her, to pick up the phone to if needed, to maybe sit with your brother in law to let her get time out, though she may be reluctant to leave him. It's hard at times like these we all want to help but sometimes all we can do is just be there for someone and that's as valuable as anything..Have you asked her what you could do to help her? My very best wishes to you for now! Gail

HI Ld65

a warm welcome to the online community. So sorry to hear about all that is going on. Such a lot for the whole family to deal with.

As Granny59 has already said, your sister will amaze you here but that doesn't mean she won't need your support. At this early stage she potentially doesn't even know what help she needs. I supported my late husband through the 3 years of his GBM journey and at the start of that journey I felt totally overwhelmed with it all. 

Learnings I took from that experience is that you really find out who your friends are. So many people say "just ask" or "let me know if I can help" and that's the last you see of them. Consistency is key. Be there for her. Be led by what she needs from you. I remember messaging one of my closest friends to tell them about G and they asked me what they could do to support me. I replied "Be normal. Treat me as you usually would." That might sound crazy but normality is precious in a GBM journey. For what it's worth that friend messaged me every day and still messages me every day. 

There is no one size fits all answer. Your sister might need you just to be there to talk to, or to help around the house or to do some  shopping etc but don't assume what she needs. Be open with her and see what she says. 

There's some great generic information on the website. I looked up the link for you - Supporting someone with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support

This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone about to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer a virtual hug when its needed. Neither you nor your sister are alone here. We're here for you both. There's another  couple of groups within the community that I found really supportive -Cancer carers forum | Macmillan Online Community and Family and friends of people with cancer forum | Macmillan Online Community

It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

for now though I'm sending you both a huge virtual hug and lots of strength. 

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

My suggestion; dont "ask what she needs"... at this stage she likely is like a deer in the headlights. Just do.

Drop off some food, stop by and help with a load or two of washing, arrive and mow her lawn....

I had so many people who asked what I needed and frankly I needed the person to be better... everything else was secondary. It was the one who said to me "there is food arriving at x time" which helped the most. I didnt know what I needed - I needed someone to tell me and help me