Brother- terrible shock

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My brothers been diagnosed with a glioblastoma. According to the consultant he’ll be dead in a month. Don’t know whether to give up hope to protect myself, or keep thinking miracles will happen. 

  • Welcome to the group Joe and so sorry to hear your news. I cared for my wife who had a GBM.

    There's lots of really useful information on the Macmillan site about different aspects of cancer so if you haven't already have a good browse and come back with any questions. I found it really helpful just reading through the threads in this group to see what others' experiences had been like especially regarding symptom development as the illness progresses. Although we are all looking after someone with, or suffer from, a GBM we all end up taking slightly different routes depending on how it progresses and local care provision.

    When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may also benefit from joining our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.

    Have you or your brother been offered any counselling at all? Either way it’s always good to talk so please remember you can call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing. Or it may be as is the case for me that there are other local charities that can support you.

    Hope some of this is useful and please do use this group to ask questions or just vent how you're feeling.

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  • Taking Pauls brain fluid drains out today. The family were asked to agree to this , but I was so numb at the time I cannot completely grasp why I said yes to it. Any help would be appreciated . 
    Reasons for taking drains out: 
    consultants recommend it
    he will slip away
    Quicker probably
    otherwise tumour continues to expand fast, causing brain damage as it forces the brain out of the base of the skull
    Better for family (this isn’t supposed to be a reason)
    They drains are not doing anything much now anyway.

    Reasons for keeping in: 
    Paul has more time
    he has periods of lucidity now
    who knows what thoughts, sounds, voices he hears.
    We’re not ‘pulling the plugs’ on him.

  • Hiya Joe. 

    I can’t imagine how you must be feeling, finding out about the diagnosis and so quickly you’re having to make these end of life decisions. 

    I remember when I found out about my Dad I was in a complete tailspin. We had 11 months with him before he passed away. I don’t know if this makes you feel any better but those 11 months I watched everything about my Dad disappear. The initial shock and panic ebbed away but what came in its place was grief for someone who was still ‘alive’.. and by the end I was so desperate for it to be over because I know this isn’t how he would ever have wanted us to remember him. This disease can change everything about a person and it was unimaginably cruel. 

    I’m not saying that any path for this illness is better, it’s all horrendous… But whatever decisions you and the medical team are making will be the right decisions and you have to try your best to trust it… which I understand must feel so hard. 

    Im so sorry you find yourself here but know you are not alone in this group and we all are behind you. 

    Sending you love and light x