4 months post diagnosis

Not sure where to start, I just needed somewhere to speak openly about what’s going on to others who might understand.

It’s been 3 months since I last posted on here and a lot has changed.

I still remember clear as day receiving the FaceTime from her where she stuttered and scrambled to try and tell me they’d found something on her brain. She said there’s no point worrying or getting upset because it won’t change anything anyway and then we went on to have a pretty normal conversation.

Since this she’s had an operation to remove the majority of the mass. They were not able to remove it all which we knew they wouldn’t be able to before they operated. She has completed 3 weeks of radiotherapy and chemotherapy and an extra week of chemotherapy. She wasn’t sick as she usually is which was really positive as she’s a usually sicky person. Overall she handled it like a champ and I’m so proud. 

She’s not having any treatments at the moment but we have noticed that she has gradually stopped talking. I’m not sure if she can’t or why but the last time I heard her say a whole sentence was Christmas. She’s not able to get up by herself anymore or adjust the way she’s sitting or lying. She needs help most of the time and it’s really hard to see her this way. The doctors have asked for a screening as they believe the cancer has spread to her bladder too, I doubt we will bother to find out though. 

I wish there were better treatments and some sort of hope, and I wish there was more time. I miss her so much already.