Hospice or home... this is coming close

Hugs. thank you Wee Me. I have reported them, we will see if they suggest new drugs or form of relief... Praying for him to not be in pain every minute he's still here with us. 

Swollen for a few months? Well, I guess it's only just started for him... Seems the clock is still ticking strong. xx

Hi guys. Feeling bit dizzy and confused today. The nurse said his condition took a bad turn, he's going on liquid meds and reduced ones.............. they said the palliative doctor says to take time off to spend with him, reduce work hours to see him, I am scared. How close is he? 

No one can give you an exact answer to that question and often you don't want it answered but if his team are advising you to spend time with him and your gut feeling is saying the same you should spend as much time as you can with him. I didn't stop work until a couple of weeks before my husband died and it took my manager to tell me that being with him will be the most important and  hardest thing I would ever do but that I needed to do it. It was almost like giving me that permission meant that I had to face the situation and I was so grateful to her. She made the difference. 

I don't know what your situation is exactly but you should do what you can and feel okay with. In the end it is how you spent the time that stays with you  not the length of time left.

Sending hugs

Sulubee

Oh Sparkles123, I'm so sorry to hear this but be brave. You've stayed strong so long but it's OK to be scared. I know I was terrified by the end 

There are no timelines here. Everyone is unique and you have as much or as little time as you have. It's so hard to process but trust your gut instinct here. 

Work can wait. It'll be there when you're ready to pick it up again like an old friend.

Our latter stage was different as G had a stroke/seizure overnight on the Saturday so we went straight from pills to syringe driver for beds. 

If you see anything change that concerns you,  call it out to the team 

Take this phase a day at a time and try to be gentle with yourself. We're all here for you. You're not alone.

Sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of strength 

Love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Hi Sulubee. Hugs and thank you for that. Your manager is ever so kind.  I feel so guilty, since his 2nd operation in May, my missed work days/hours are frequent, never one full time work week for months. I don't know if I want to ask for more days? I just have to get off a little early, stay extra long visits and come home extra late to finish my day.... Plus we all know that the post-event will require time away from everything, the missed work guilt is inevitable. I visited daily since he's been home, and when his mind was clearer.  My last couple day visits, he's completely asleep... sniffs. 

Hi Wee Me

Hugs and thank you for your encouraging, supportive words all this journey long.

Really makes me feel like I am not alone. 

Without water and food now day 2... while it breaks my heart to accept that he's about to really leave us, I watched him suffer in bed, in discomfort, in pain from the disease for too long, especially the last couple weeks, I wish he be free of the suffering too. 

I can only speak from my experience but missed work guilt was the least of my concerns, your work colleagues would want you to take the time you need. I think we carry enough guilt throughout the whole process. I was a nurse and lucky to get six months paid leave, most of which I took afterwards and during that time I realised that I wasn't going back. That worked for me but I know for others work helps them carry on. Everyone is different and you must do what you feel works for you. What you will need though is time to grieve.

Hugs.

Sulubee

The final stage is tough to watch. I'll not lie - it almost broke me. G lasted 6 days without water or food. Our local hospice nurses were absolute angels though and made those final days as pain free and peaceful as they could for him and they took care of all of us.

As I've said on another post somewhere along the lines - At the start of the journey I would go to bed at night praying he wouldn't die in his sleep. By the end I was going to bed praying he would slip away peacefully in the night so that none of us, him included, would need to get through another day.

You're doing great here. We've got your back. 

sending love and light and strength

Wee Me xx

He left the world of suffering today, may he be free to walk, run, talk, eat as he pleases again.

Oh Sparkles I am so sorry that you are going through all this. You will spend a lot of time dealing with the practical side of things over the next few weeks  but take time to think about yourself as well. We all understand here what you are feeling right now. Just take it a bit at a time.I am sending you a huge hug and some doggy cuddles.

Sulubee