Heartbreaking

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My wife of 43 years was diagnosed with GBM April 22. My daughter had just had twins that January. Anty had one of them on her knee when I noticed she was just staring into space. Ambulance,hospital and two weeks of stroke treatment. Then she got the call, it’s not a stroke it’s a brain tumour. Being told that over the phone was tough but I figured that might be better than a stroke, they’ll just take it out, bingo bango. I guess I went into denial right away. Anty went straight to google. Surgery was June1. 90 percent removal. She said pray it’s not a glio. It was a glio. I had no idea what that was. Anyway she was amazing,recovered really well, chemo and radiation with hardly an issue. I kept thinking they made a mistake due to how good she was doing. Anty was a hairdresser, the only person to cut my hair for 45 years. The following January she stopped cutting hair, couldn’t hold the scissors properly. We decided to go to a Mexico all inclusive for 10 day. 15 of us. Brilliant time. That was May23. We were camping in late May and while playing cards with friends she couldn’t figure out what to do. That’s when we knew it was back. MRI showed recurrence. Second surgery end of July. August mri showed even more growth. Slow decline. Right arm didn’t work then right leg weakness then speech problems. The last six weeks. Palliative care three times a day. End of life care. I hate that term. I’d shower her, take her to the bathroom and feed her. Late November on a Wednesday night she had Shepherds pie. I was happy with how much she ate. Her speech was down to one words. She said “night,love” and went straight to sleep. Didn’t wake up. We got the occasional response for about five days then pretty much comatose for the next seven. Passed very peacefully surrounded by her family in our bedroom. This forum was a really good source for me in understanding the hell we went through. Anty was 63. Super fit. Hiked a lot. My Mountain Goat. Errigal mountain was a favourite place for her so that’s where her ashes will go. It’s good to do this for me,a release. Good luck to all.

Wee Me 3 months ago

Hi Tonyanontio

so sorry for your loss. I share your pain having lost my husband in late October 23 to GBM. His passing was not dissimilar in speed.

Thank you for sharing your story with this community. Your words will most certainly help others travelling the cruel GBM path. Please remember that this community is still here to support you too. You're not alone. We're here for you.

Scattering Anty's ashes on her favourite mountain sounds perfect. I hope she flies free from the suffering of her journey and that you and your family can draw comfort from that.

sending you a huge virtual hug and love

Wee Me xx

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

Jobo 3 months ago

So sorry to hear this, you've done an amazing job looking after her ️ she sounds like a wonderful person and to scatter her ashes in her favourite place will be a lovely thing to do. Lots of love xx

Evajean 3 months ago

So sorry to read of your wife’s passing. I am so glad she was peaceful at the end, it really helps. It is currently the middle of the night on Valentine’s Day. My late husband and I started going out together 55 years ago. We were married for 52 years when he passed away at the end of December in our local hospice aged 76. His was a very short journey with GBM. Just four months from his diagnosis in September. What a cruel, horrible disease this is. My heart goes out to everyone who has some connection with this dreadful disease.I know it is still early days but my heart is so broken without my wonderful husband. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Evajean

Tonyantonio 3 months ago in reply to Evajean

I find that people want to know what to expect going forward. It’s like we are all going on a sea cruise, only we each have our own boat taking completely different routes heading to the same destination. We will all encounter rough seas,dead calm fog banks where you’re stuck for days wondering how this happened and how do I get out of this. There will be times when you think the boat is sinking but somehow you manage to fix it never having been on a boat like this in your entire life, how did i manage that.There will be beautiful sunny days where your boat is swiftly cutting like a knife through the water hands in the air laughing at the dolphins as they race beside you. Then one morning you’ll wake up and see Port on the horizon,you’ll know that’s where you are headed. You might arrive fast, or drop anchor and chill for a while or drop sails and just coast right in Stepping on to the dock will be what you want it to be. For me, two things. That’s one voyage that nobody should have to take,and, I’m glad it’s finally over.

Evajean 3 months ago in reply to Tonyantonio

Yes it is like riding through a storm but as you say, so glad our loved one’s are not suffering any more. The grief is horrible and I miss my husband so much but would not have wanted him to suffer any more. I try to blot out the bad times and just fill my mind with happy memories.

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