This post might be a stream of consciousness so my apologies for that, but I hope it may help me to get it off my chest and help others who are going through this experience also.
We've just received the news that my Dad is in his end-of-life stage now, after suffering with glioblastoma for 2 years and 1 month. He's been given a 'few months' left.
In the past month, his behaviour had become slightly manic and his cognitive abilities had declined a little. A consultation confirmed that this was the impact of the tumour growing & treatment not being a consideration anymore. For now, he's been given steroids & he is back to his 'normal' self.
I'm incredibly nervous for this next portion of time. I'm travelling home in a couple of weeks after living in Australia, with my sole purpose to spend as much time with him and my family as possible.
It's astonishing how much you learn to adapt to your life with a loved one suffering but no matter what, there always seems to be a next piece of news or a change that completely stops you in your tracks and leaves you crashing to the ground again. But this really feels like it now.
I'm scared of this next part, I don't want to see him suffer and I don't want him to be confused or frightened. I'm not sure he fully comprehends what is happening which I suppose isn't necessarily a bad thing. But I wish it were different. The palliative care nurse is coming round to meet my parents at the end of this month, I guess to start this next phase.
I don't want my Daddy to die is the bottom line, I'm 27 but if I close my eyes I'm back to being in his arms, his little girl.
Sharing love and light to anyone suffering also.
Oh Pink Fizz, I feel for you. Life's too cruel at times.
My kids are only a little younger than you (23 and 25) and seeing them see their dad go through his GBM ripped me apart. Sending you a huge virtual hug.
G was passed into the palliative care phase at the end of Feb 2023. having been first diagnosed in Sept 2020. Even while in that palliative phase he was in great shape up until early August. He was a fitness freak and he only stopped running in August this year. He cycled in the garage on his turbo trainer/exercise bike for hours each day when he could no longer run and still walked for miles. Sadly he passed away at the end of October but he was fit and active up until 6 days before the end.
I understand your fear about this next part of the journey. I had the same fears but in our case the local community nursing team were great and our local hospice was awesome. They visited once a week or every couple of weeks from March through til October so we had built a relationship with the team and felt that we knew the staff by the time G was admitted for the last time last month. People fear the word hospice but to my family they represent nothing but first class caring care for the entire family. It might be worth reaching out and getting to know your dad's local hospice team ( if there is one).
For now though take each day as it comes. Please take time to take care of yourself here too as this is a gruelling emotional rollercoaster ride. Taking a bit of "me time" isn't selfish. its essential to help keep you in the best position to support your dad.
Stay strong. Remember we are here if you need to reach out anytime. You're not alone. We've got you.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Hi Callie, so sorry . Sending you a huge hug and lots of healing energy. I'm relieved to hear that things were calm right to the end. That's all we can ever wish for.
It's just under a month since we lost G and everything still feels surreal. Please be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grieve and to heal.
Remember we are still here for you.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Thanks for your cwtch 
️ sending one back too. This disease is so terrible and I’m thinking if you and you’re brave boys. Xx
