HI everyone
Today we had our first visit from the palliative care nurse and taken delivery of our "just in case" box. I collected the drugs to go in it from the pharmacy late afternoon. It's now lurking on top of the fridge....just in case.
The news from the oncologist yesterday was worse than we'd feared it would be. The 4 tumours have al joined forces into one massive tumour that is working its way towards the back of the brain and across to the opposite side. It is also now touching on the brain stem. The scan showed a lot of swelling too.
We asked the question about timescales but the answer was inevitably woolly. My husband was more direct and asked "Are we talking 6 months?" We're not. If the tumour encroaches further into the brain stem things will progress very quickly. If it keeps going towards the back and across to the other side, the oncologist was talking weeks or 2/3 months at best (or is that worst) My husband still hasn't fully grasped how short time might be. He was telling the nurse today he has six months... better to let him think that.
He went for his final run on 19th February. We didn't know it was his final one at the time but things have deteriorated pretty quickly. That said he ran 10 miles that day with his friend. He's still on a fitness drive though and has been spending hours in the garage on his bike (it's hooked up to a turbo trainer so he can't escape) He's content to spend his day pedalling away and it gives me peace of mind as I know where he is.
During our chat with the nurse today she asked the DNR question - one we have all been dancing round for a while- and he said he doesn't wish to be resuscitated should it come to it. We also agreed at what point he would want to go to the local hospice. Tough conversations to have but at least I have the peace of mind that these decisions have been his decisions while he can still make them.
His speech and ability to find words is slipping daily so conversations are very limited and invariably end up with a fair amount of guesswork trying to work out what he wants to say. We'll be world champions are charades before this is over!
Life's cruel....
Stay strong, everyone. This is a tough emotional rollercoaster of a ride.
love n hugs to you all
Wee Me xx
