Hi everyone. I’m new to this forum and would really appreciate some advice. My mother’s battle with glioblastoma (grade 4) is close to the end and she recently stopped treatment and moved onto hospice care. Decline has been swift over the last 2 months and we understand from her doctors that we’re probably looking at a few weeks left with her. In addition to all the physical symptoms, the thing I’m finding hardest is how sad the prospect of end of life is for her. She is very tearful and desperate for more time, struggling to accept the situation and even waking multiple times in the night in distress. She is already taking anti-depressants but I wonder if there is more we can do to support her through this and try to reduce some of the worry and heartache. Maybe this is a silly question as it is obviously just an incredibly and unavoidably heartbreaking thing to go through, however I wondered if anyone had any success in supporting their loved ones in finding peace or at least any psychological comfort during their final weeks?
Hi, I'm so sorry you're going through this, it really is an unthinkable situation for everyone involved. Is your mum religious at all? I know some family members who found a lot of comfort and peace when they were visited by a priest even though they hadn't actively practised religion in years.
When we lost my mother in law to cancer in June 24 she started seeing her - deceased - dad alot and would tell us that he'd been to visit her and was asking about the grandkids etc. We leaned into those conversations with her as they seemed to bring her comfort. She would mention that he was coming to get her and we would say that sounds lovely I bet it'll be nice to be with him again etc. It's a horrible thought that you'd feel anything but peace towards the end.
Even other tactics might help, could she listen to an audiobook while she sleeps or some calming music that might distract her mind from some of the scary and unknown thoughts long enough for her to rest? I don't think there's an easy or right answer unfortunately, but I really hope she finds peace as things progress, and I hope the same for you too 
Hi Porridge123
a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about all that is going on with your mum.
I supported my late husband through the 3 years of his Glioblastoma journey so can empathise with what you are going through.
I'd speak to the hospice team about your concerns in the first instance. They are the experts on this phase of the journey and have so much experience to draw on. We were handed off to the local hospice team and district nurses 8 months before G died. To be honest, at that stage, it was the best thing that could have happened to us as a family. The community hospice team got to know us and it meant when the time came we were surrounded by familiar faces. The dr added in a lose of lorazepam to G's medication as he became quite anxious latterly and that took the edge off things. They also offered counselling to all of us. He declined the offer. My daughter had counselling to help her prepare for her dad dying and my son and I had counselling after G passed. Talking to someone removed from the situation helps.
In our situation G struggled to communicate latterly but he still enjoyed spending time with his friends. Three of them met up with him once a week and when he was admitted to the hospice were there every day too. To be honest, they all just chatted their usual nonsense, recalled funny stories and tried to add a bit of normality to things.
There's not really a one stop solution here so try different things and be led by your mum as to what she wants. G also watched all his favourite films as best he could in those last few weeks/months. Six days before he passed and two days before he went into the hospice for the final time, his friend took him out for an ice cream sundae. That was the last day that he really knew what was going on around him and knowing he had a really nice day that day helped the kids and I.
There's some info on the main website about supporting a loved one towards the end that might help here. Here's the link-
If the person you care for is dying | Macmillan Cancer Support
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Please make sure you take care of yourself here too. Supporting someone through this journey takes its toll. You need to try to keep your wee batteries charged up too so please reach out here anytime. Its a safe and supportive space where everyone gets it. We're here for you. You're not alone.
sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of strength
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
