Feeling lost........

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I am sat here considering that on the 22nd July my mum in law (who lives with us) took to her bed complaining of the heat.

1 week later we insisted that she see the dr (shes 70 and knows exactly what she wants) - the GP advised her BP was low and as she had not eaten and drank well then she was dehydrated, obviously she was admitted to our local hospital where she spent a week being treated for pneumonia - (she had spent a week on her back and is in heart failure so only to be expected)

Just over a week after discharge we were on holiday in Wales and following on a slight recovery and then fast decline she was admitted to a welsh hospital - unfortunately while there she had a CT scan and was diagnosed with advanced metastatic cancer primarily from they suspect the gall bladder but having spread to both lungs and liver - she was discharged back to our local hospital to see the consultant on 04/09/19

Mum did not fully understand her diagnoses as she had not read the discharge letter and said she was not told the full extent

Since discharge mum barely gets out of bed due to extreme weakness and tiredness, she eats a tiny amount of food (or non at all as she says she has no appetite) she struggles to drink fluids, she falls asleep instantaneously although complains of not being able to sleep and feeling so so tired. Her mobility was poor however it is now a struggle to go to the toilet. Her skin has turned yellow over the last 2 days (her INR is above 8)and today she has told me that when she does go to the toilet (however this is infrequent) her stools are very dark and very loose (she can not see blood in them - but when she wipes herself there is dark blood on the tissue)

I have asked the GP (who to be honest was hopeless on this occasion) for a referral to our local hospice for support for her, for a OT referral to see if there is equipment we can have at home and for some ensure shakes (which she is managing 1 per day)

My husband i feel lost and tbh scared - we both work in services and i think we understand that there is little we can do to change the situation except to be there for mum and out 11yr old & 21yr old sons who live with us.

Is this level of decline normal after such a short diagnoses - we dont see the consultant until weds but im worried about how mum has declined so quickly since 22 july - im seeing her presentation and worried about time now

Am i over exagerating ? does anyone have any experience of this, im lost and we just dont know who to turn too......

  • Hi and a warm welcome to the online community although I'm sorry you've had to find us.

    I'm sorry that I can't answer your question on whether your mother-in-law's deterioration is normal or not but I didn't want you to think that no one had seen your post.

    Hopefully you'll all know a lot more tomorrow after you've spoken to the consultant.

    Please do come back and let me know how you get on.

    Sending a supportive ((hug))

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"