Choroidal melanoma

that was some shrinkage. if it goes on like that is the cancer gone?.

does the MRI cover your whole body?

Hello everyone.

I was diagnosed with melanoma last Friday. Due to the size I'm offered PBT or enucleation. I'm only 42 and this has completely been a shock.

I'm so devastated and so SCARED.

I have a very anxious personality and I am terrified of the prospects, the spreading, living in fear, etc.

My mental health is in a terrible state, I can't eat anything, I can't think about anything else, I'm afraid to be alone as I gave suicidal thoughts.

Reached out to NHS 111 over the weekend, hoping to get some psychological support, but I'm in such a deep dark hole that I can't make a decision about what treatment to choose.

Has anyone else experienced such an extreme shock and how did you deal with it? What helped? 

Thank you

Yes it is a shock but now they have found it things will move quickly. PBT sounds scary but it isn't. The worst part is getting the markers in and even it isn't so bad just uncomfortable rather than painful afterwards. i was able to get o a plane home a few hours after the op but thankfully it was  in COVID shutdown so there was not the same airport queues. mine was done in Liverpool and all the staff were so nice. it was also handy also having the proton beam in almost the same place again all hospital staff very pleasant.

i would try PBT first but i am not a doctor but it seems like the less extreme option. I know Liverpool hospital has a counsellor so i assume the other eye hospitals have too. It might be worth speaking to them.

It will be a journey so just take things as they happen. If you do end up in Clatterbridge for PBT (village hotel)  just "enjoy the break" and if you work don't rush back to work until after you check up - your eyes will  need time to recover and don't do what we had to do and move house between PBT and the 6 week check up!

don't google too much it does not always help and some sites (one in particular)are just depressing

how did i cope -in my case my faith helped me.

keep the site update with your progress.

Thank you for your reply.

Can I ask how big was the melanoma in your eye before deciding which treatment to go for? 

I think mine is quite large which is against me.

Did your consultant help you make a decision? I feel quite left alone to make such a huge decision. The consultant said there was a hight chance of developing glaucoma in the eye after PBT which is very difficult to treat. 1 in 3 or 4 people get it. Did they give you the same statistics?

How far after your PBT are you? 

Thank you for coming back to me

Mine was about 5mm deep. 

i was not really given a choice,  in fact they told me return tomorrow and we will put the markers in. I said that i couldn't as i would be back home in NI and if i "stayed" i had no accommodation and no way to get home afterwards as   the boat that   night was the only available booking that week. I had to return a few weeks later. 

yes they mentioned Glaucoma and cataract but gave no stats (I hope i don't get cataract as my Mum has it and even to get a private appt with a consultant is taking two months)

I had the PBT in February last year. The sight in that eye has been affected - if close my good eye it is as though I am constantly looking at my nose. although i say good eye i had always counted my good eye as the one with the melanoma.

I had the biopsy done - depending on which hospital you are with you may or may not be offered this - apparently it is routine through Liverpool but not with Moorfields - this is painless but does produce a wonderful black eye a few days later.

i could also write a book about taxi adventures but hat is another story.