how can i help my son

Thank you so much for your response 

 he gets very angry if I say anything as believes in positivity

seems to be he makes excuses for why his lymph nodes has swollen than accepting is cancer that is the cause

his neck is over swollen plus his jaw and ear and arm has extreme pain in back continues to have massage despite being told will increase

was in hospital for a week had to be discharged as would not accept treatment

I thought they were going to help and didn't plus cause he is classed as sane nothing can be done

I'm so desperate to help him   

hi 

thank you for your response 

its mum on here not son as he has refused to accept what he has and treatments been refused 

im still trying and praying he changes his mind sooner than later 

thank you for your kind words 

I agree with you 100 per cent 

my son encouraged me to positive thinking when I went through mine (breast cancer) then sadly year later he was diagnosed  NHL  aggressive diffuse large b ABC phenotype

start in tonsils 2018 REFUSED TREATMENT 

In last month neck has over swollen as he reused treatment back then now  has spread to lymph nodes in  neck area  caused huge swelling even in jaw and arm was In hospital for a week was discharged as refused treatment  I couldn't get court order as he is assessed as sane 

he is having extreme pain in shoulder and I am heart broken to see him suffer but has asked me to respect his decisions as much as I disagree I have to respect his wish as should he take treatment he needs to be confident and be positive to overcome this 

thank you so much for your reply 

very happy for you 

my son  has seen me have treatment by choice (breast cancer) I didn't need to but I felt that despite it being gone I wanted to give 100 per cent chance that everything was gone for my peace of mind 

I had very long hair , I cut it all off shaved off complete bald before treatment  and I didn't mind at all and as he has seen has grown and yes saw tiredness etc but changed me so much gave up smoking just like that( smoked for 47 yrs)  ,unhealthy foods through his encouragement ,my son gave me so much positivity  , sad to say he's one has all gone for himself   

my concerns are that he is in denial and has false ideas to cure from these herbal doctors if I say anything he say I'm not being positive 

thank you  for your response 

I will show your response when I think he will accept to encourage my son to have treatment .

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation - this must be so difficult and heart breaking for you. NHL can be an agressive cancer but it has good success rates with Chemo. I was stage 4 and days after starting treatment I could see my lumps shrinking. For me chemo wasn't a walk in the park but for it was worth it.  Im six years in remission now and living a full and healthy life.  Would it help for your son to talk to others who have been through it? Or would some counselling help him make sense of it all?  It's unfortunate that there is a lot of misinformation out there and people are peddling alternative cures for which there is no evidence It sounds like he's scared and hasn't fully accepted whats happening.  My heart goes out to you, it really does. Here if you need to talk

thank you for your response 

he got so week last week and I managed to get him admitted was in for a week but refused treatment had been seen by phycologist who said he is of sound mind so nothing I can do or hospital could do so had to let him home agreed in a meeting that should breathing become restricted and intervention required he will accept treatment then  .

hes swelling has got worse but more to  jaw and ear  ,so not eaten anything two days now and not enough drinking

he stays up stairs just lying on bed and still refusing treatment

I feel so sick inside hes only 34 and has so much to live for ,just dosent make no sense    

So sorry to hear how this is going.

Without treatment he will progressively deteriorate so you will have to look into pain control and most likely in-home care for both him and to support yourself in all this and this can all be arranged through his GP.

Hi Choo,

I am so sorry you and your son are experiencing this, my dad was recently diagnosed with NHL and I understand how scary it is - I've only know about my dad for a few weeks but it does sink in and become more manageable. Just wanted to write to you as my dad's main symptom was agonising back pain, he was in hospital for two weeks whilst they tried to find the cause (turned out to be NHL and swollen lymph nodes pressing on nerves). They started him on some steroids called Dexamethasone and literally overnight the pain went away - it was truly incredible. This is only a short-term solution and as the other people here say, chemo is key but whilst your son thinks about treatment, perhaps you can tell him that there are things that can be done to help with the pain now. Perhaps you can print out some of these responses and show him there are many positive outcomes with treatment and also a world of support and people that understand what he's going through.

My dad started his R-CHOP chemotherapy and whilst I understand it will have cumulative side effects over time, he was at home last night watching TV and eating dinner. I had visions of things changing over night but it's not always like that.

I really hope your son changes his mind.

Hugs,

Hils

Hi there,

Really sorry to hear this - I can imagine how hard it must be for you.

My Dad was diagnosed with lymphoma, the growth was large and as it was in his throat it stopped him being able to eat properly and at one stage he could hardly speak.  He has always been one who is against any medication, even refusing to have a paracetamol when he's been ill so when it came to chemo he obviously didn't want it.  He had also seen his dad go through chemo many years ago and like your son did not want the terrible side effects you hear about.  Unfortunately there really is no other option to fix this, there are all kinds of diets and natural treatments but none of them are proven cures.  So he did it for us, his family, who love him so much.

After just 1 or 2 cycles the growth had visibly reduced, the improvement in such a short time was amazing. There were some side effects, fatigue, a bit of constipation, and hair loss (which grows back right after) but honestly nothing at all to be scared of - please trust me chemo is so much kinder now and importantly very very sucessful for lymphoma.  He was 78 at the time and is now in complete remission - cancer free.

Ask your son what he would want if it was you, if he had to stand by and watch you get progressively worse.. surely he would want you to get the treatment needed to cure you?   I have sent you a friend request - if your son has questions or wants to talk I'm happy to help

x