how can i help my son

Hi  and welcome although it’s never great to see folks finding us.

The reality is the chance of this correcting its self without treatment is very very very low..... and in my mind it would be 0% chance.

He needs to understand that this type of blood cancer can be very aggressive but at the same time is very treatable and there have been lots of folks come through this group who can testify to this.

What is his thinking behind not having treatment? and convincing himself that he can fight this?

Hiya son

Go for it, do the treatment, it will cure you so it's so worth it. You will not be laid up in bed all day. I'm not a young bloke but I am managing the treatment OK. If you have doubts, do it for yourself and your future and for mum who sounds like she will be there for you. The earlier you catch it the better. 

Allan 

Hi sadly as has been said this disease can only be beaten by treatment, I assume his doctor has explained this in very basic terms. Unfortunately with the internet the are many people out there peddling false hope and miracle cures all which have been shown to be false. Plus you have to ask if cancers can be beaten by cheaper methods would they not be being used give the financial plight many hospital trusts are in. 

As Mike has suggested try to discuss with him his thinking so it allows you with help if needed, to explain why he has false hope.

Sadly though if he will not listen then the is only one outcome, and when I was diagnosed over 10 years ago, I knew if I wanted a chance to live then treatment was the only option and even back then, thoughts were changing and the word cure was starting to be used, so share our stories with your son and explain how he needs help and accepting it will give him a future

Good luck and we are here to help when we can 

Nicely put John, the treatment is okay with the right support and very high success rate. I am on my second cycle of rchop and happily knackered, doing the business. 

Allan 

On the back of these great reply’s and from my experience......... I was diagnosed with my rare type of NHL back in 1999 and told I would most likely live all my life with it, never see Remission and most likely it would become angry and come and get me.

Well in late 2013 it came after me........ long story short....... in 2016 and for the first time in 17 years I was told I was in Remission and NED (No Evident Disease).

Its all about how we position ourselves on how and what to do that will ‘actually’ work and get out the other end of the very dark tunnel with life.

Keep talking.

Hi Allan, happily Knackered is fine and if it gets worse for you hang in there as the is a light at the end of the tunnel, 

As the others say the only way to cure this is with conventional treatment. Chemo isn't as bad as it used to be. I had images of vomiting all day long and being really ill but in fact I didn't vomit once during the treatment. It's not pleasant but it's very do-able and doesn't really last long. I hope you can persuade your son that treating is the way to go. Good luck.

thank you for your response 

he has said he doesn't want treatment due to all the side effects  and possible future effects 

has seen me have chemo just before his diagnose 

its been heart-breaking watching him , he's in a lot of pain in his back shoulder  ,has had too many massage and I was told not good to have as helps spread 

his ear and jaw now over swollen cannot eat , has been on all sorts of juice diets as well as Dr DEBS and DR MOSES TABELTS SELF CURE  has lost a huge amount of weight cause of Dr Debs he finds it difficult to eat cooked foods 

was in hospital for a week was discharged as not accepting treatment

has agreed should he stop breathing due to swelling would agree to treatment then  as classed as sane nothing I can do  

So sorry that you find yourself in this situation, it must be heartbreaking to see him but if he is in full control of his mind and is not accepting treatment there is nothing you can do - sorry.

His symptoms with regards to his growth resulting in him not being able to eat and with me my breathing was getting restricted sound so familiar and as I said the effects of the treatment was amazing and no real side effects from my treatment and definitely nothing like he is putting himself through not going with treatment.

Hi If it helps tell him you have spoken to people who have had treatment and the only side effects we can guarantee he will experience are: Hair loss - it grows back, Fatigue - you recover and at first its not bad, Constipation - due to the various tablets and it can be managed by diet and exercise. After that its pot luck and most of the other potential effects can be treated to minimise any effect they have. 

The positive is RCHOP starts working the minute it enters the blood and it melts the lymphoma away and he will start to get some relief from his current symptoms within a day or two. I had 8 cycles and the first was a walk in the park, the 8th I was tired and had low blood counts but here I am 10 years later. 

Tell him he can do it and the chemo is not like the one you had and 4 to 6 months treatment for many more years of enjoying life is a small price to pay. 

If he wants to come on here and read posts and stories he will realise his fears are misplaced and the are people here to help him through this. Alternatively ask how much more has he to suffer before his self treating delivers relief and can he not see its not working.

Hope you manage to talk him into being sensible.