New here reoccurrence waiting for results

Hi Jm12 and welcome to our group.

I’m so sorry you find yourself here with another concern-I had a recurrence and it was worse for me trying to deal with it in my mind than my original diagnosis so I understand the fear you are feeling.

I was originally diagnosed with stage 2b in 2018, and did chemoradiation and my recurrence was picked up just over a year from that original diagnosis. I understand how difficult it can be to feel positive-I started to feel better once there was a plan of action to deal with it, and since then I’ve tried my best to keep a positive mindset. But that’s hard when you’re in this place of uncertainty at the moment and don’t know exactly what this is. 

Every day waiting seems like an eternity, but at least you’ll know in a couple of weeks. Try to keep an open mind for now as you don’t know if this is definitely a recurrence, and the blood in your urine may not be connected. 

This is hard, I hear you. I hope you’ll find some comfort from being in the group with support as you go through this, especially from those of us who have gone through a recurrence already. Please keep posting and let us know how things are going, and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I’m glad you’ve found us.

Sarah xx

Thank you Sarah for your kind words,I hope you are ok 

im trying not to think of the worse as you said it might not be so I have to stay positive.

with not much back from cancer consultant I’ve been with through my cancer journey she was very brief and just told me I’m being referred for more tests it sort of threw me after being clear for so long

I thought I was over reacting with my symptoms 

It must have been a real shock after being clear for so long, but I’m glad you at least reported your symptoms to get checked out. I don’t feel you were overreacting at all. 

I had no symptoms when my recurrence was found at a routine check up, so there would have been nothing to report in my case. I’m glad I had a consultant (well, his registrar) who was on the ball. Otherwise with no symptoms it might have taken longer to discover in my case and my situation could have turned out very differently. We are told to report symptoms like pain and unusual bleeding, but I didn’t experience those things. 

I’m doing ok thank you-I have passed the 5 year anniversary of my surgery to remove my cancer now, so I ‘m very thankful for that, even though my life is very different now.

You’ll know soon, and there will be a plan, but I do understand how hard this is to go through again, especially if the cancer is back. I tried to keep in my mind  “it’s not cancer till they say it is” and there’s always hope still that you may not hear those words.

Sarah xx

Hi ,

just giving  update went on Tuesday to see consultant I’m having to go for a colonoscopy 

1cm nodular found and mass he wants to large sample and to remove all for biopsy.

having pre op next Tuesday but waiting for date for the colonoscopy I should have this date by Monday.

not sure how I’m feeling husband came with me he thinks it’s all going to be ok and this to remove and I be ok,I told him we need to wait for results he’s told me not worry I’ve got nothing to worry about as there removing it all  easier said than done.

Am I being stupid working after I’ve been here before.

Any support appreciated as I’m terrified 

many thanks 

Jen 

Hi Jen

I think for all of us it’s impossible not to worry going through this, but try to think in the moment and what you know now, rather than thinking ahead to the “what ifs” if you can try to do that. I know it’s really hard though, but all you know for now is that you need further investigations. 

Forgive me for needing to ask, but I was confused when you mentioned having a colonoscopy, and wondered if you meant a colposcopy instead? Is the nodule/mass being investigated/removed from your colon? I was assuming that you would be having your cervix investigated further after your initial post, but maybe you are having both of these procedures done? 

Whatever you are having done, I understand how scary it is. I had to have a biopsy under anaesthetic to take a sample from my cervix, but I just had a sample taken and nothing was actually removed as the area where they assumed the cancer had recurred was very small-less than a centimetre. 

I tried to keep my mind occupied while I waited to hear more-I’m retired which unfortunately meant a lot of time by myself which gives you time to think. But I tried not to let my mind dwell on negative thoughts 24/7-watched a lot of tv, did tasks which needed concentration-for me that was colouring in of all things but it means that you need to concentrate on something else. 

I used apps on my phone like Headspace to make me focus on the here and now, and calming sounds apps on my phone to help me get to sleep. Unfortunately I was in a lot of pain at this point which had started quite suddenly after feeling perfectly fine, so I was awake a lot in the night getting hot water bottles and making cups of tea.

Waiting is hard but I really hope it’s not too long for you-the pre op is happening quickly so that’s actually a good thing. 

I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this-I know completely how difficult and frightening it is.

Sarah xx