Hi, had a full hysterectomy last Aug due to finding out I had cancer after a teeny one off bleed.
Had brocytherapy in December and my 3 month check up a couple of weeks ago.
Still feeling tired at times and not back to my normal self fitness wise…not back at work yet either as quite a strenuous job.
Some people seem to think months have passed since my diagnosis and I got the all clear and rang the bell so thats it finished with.
Every day it’s on my mind tho and worried incase it comes back.
A goof friend passed away just before Christmas suddenly from cancer .. she had breast cancer 8 years ago and was fine .. never been poorly till 3 weeks before she died and then she thought it was a chest infection.
My friend went to A&E as feeling poorly and long story short was kept in hospital.. tests done.. said cancer had came back and going to do a biopsy to see what was what.
Alison was sent home then week later wasn’t feeling good so took her in .. gave her 3 months that was the Thursday and the Sunday her brother messaged to say she had passed away in her sleep only 58
Thats shaken me up as she was the one who was there for me giving me hope when I heard I had cancer.
i know Alison had cancer in a different place to me and everyone isn’t the same … it still plays on my mind tho
Sorry for the long waffle x
Hi Geordiesuzie and welcome to our group.
I’m a member of the womb group and recall your posts there, but assumed you had been diagnosed with womb cancer. However, it’s good to see you’ve joined us here and I hope you’ll find it helpful to be with us.
I think many of us will completely identify with how you’re feeling, and the reactions of others when you’ve had surgery or further treatment. I was guilty myself in the past of assuming that once treatment was done, a cancer patient was able to move on and “get over it”. I was SO wrong!
I’m not sure that anyone who has had a cancer diagnosis ever completely gets over the fear that it might recur, but what I can say for myself is that the fear lessens in time and isn’t at the forefront of my thoughts every day. I was diagnosed more than 6 years ago and found it difficult when my treatment ended-I had chemoradiation and no hysterectomy-because the safety net of going to hospital every day was done and I felt in a way abandoned. There was a 3 month wait for my post treatment scan, and I did get a NED result, but even then it was at the back of my mind that my story wasn’t finished.
As it happened, my cancer did recur 9 months later, BUT, I was able to have exenteration surgery. I had my 5 year post surgery check up last month, and my surgeon/consultant considers me cured. I can honestly say that I don’t worry every day about it coming back again-of course it might, but I prefer to get on with living my life and not worrying about a future I can’t predict. I want to do the things I enjoy and making the most of the life I have-it is very changed now physically and mentally and very different but I am so glad to be here to experience it. I still make plans, I have a new granddaughter, I book holidays and I don’t live my life in fear.
It’s very hard going forward, but I’ve had counselling which I found very helpful, and I generally live my life as a glass half full type of person. I look for the silver linings if I can in the situations I’ve been faced with over the past few years, and I consider myself lucky. I’m not crazy positive every single day, but I have many more good days than bad, and I try to recognise the down days are not forever. I allow myself to feel what I feel, grieve for the life which I used to have and is gone, sometimes have some tears, then pick myself up again and move on.
I am sorry to read about your friend and how difficult that must have been to cope with. I can understand that something so shocking would rock you, especially after going through cancer yourself. It’s very sad, and I can understand it playing on your mind even though your situations are different. I think that’s very natural.
Now it’s me that’s waffled! But please stick with us and post as much as you’d like about anything bothering you. We understand in ways that people who haven’t had cancer simply don’t.
Sarah xx
Thank you so much for replying so fast to my post 
It really does make me feel so much better knowing what I’m feeling and thinking is ‘normal’ and something other people feel and not just me.
I think it’s just been a bad couple of years and at times the bad stuff seems to outweigh the good things.
I lost my brother suddenly 2 years ago then last year got cancer and then lost a close friend. Another friend is having end of life care as has brain tumours so my heart goes out to him and his wife as just a matter of time. Think this hits close to home as how my dad passed when he was 56 back in 1989 then my mam died in 1997 aged 60 of cancer… then my uncle in 2011 aged 63so cancer a big part of my life sadly.
Sometimes you forget the whole cancer thing then you see adverts or things cancer related and gets it straight back in your head. I’ve also got a meeting tomorrow from work and I’m dreading it so that’s probably what’s been playing on my mind these past few days.
i hate stuff like this as never know what to say .. plus it’s a bit embarrassing talking to someone who’s young enough to be my son about hysterectomies and brachytherapy It’s my first face to face meeting as previously it’s been on the phone as just didn’t feel up to doing 2 busses and a 20 min walk there and the same back home. My son is taking me tomorrow so not too bad getting there. Once t’s over with I’m sure I’ll feel better tho 
I do have more good days than bad ..I’m honestly not all doom and gloom lol We have a year old puppy who has been hard work at times but a godsend as she keeps me on my toes and gets me up and about even if I don’t feel like it 
I’ve also discovered Vinted and always treating myself on there .. even to daft little things that are only a couple of pounds.. cheers me up so why not as I’ve discovered you’ve got to be kind to yourself as well as others lol 
So pleased I joined this section as some lovely people on here so thank you for telling me about it.
Don’t be fooled by the sweet innocent face of Ruby she’s the devil in disguise 
Take care 
Hi again Geordiesuzie
Oh, my-Ruby is beautiful! That little face…Ruby is my granddaughter‘s name, and my friend has a little dog called Ruby so it’s a good choice! I got a new cat-just a year old-from a rescue place a couple of months ago and she’s full of mischief, constantly knocking things over if I’m not giving her enough attention. But she’s beautiful and such a joy to have for cuddles. My old cat tolerates her well so they seem happy enough together.
You've been through a lot of losses and sometimes that can feel so unfair, but I’ve tried not to compare myself to others we are all so different. I lost both of my parents to cancer, but cancers different to mine, so I try to think that although I got cancer myself, I was very lucky to have the treatment I had and so far I’ve had good results.
I was hyper aware of cancer on the tv when I was first diagnosed, as Coronation Street was running a cervical cancer storyline and the character died. I am better able to deal with adverts and cancer storylines on tv now and it doesn’t bother me any more. That just came with time for me and relaxing more about the whole cancer business.
Having a gynaecological cancer it can feel little uncomfortable dealing with male medical professionals, but my first gynaecologist was a man, and then so was my first consultant so I just got used to it and was more concerned that they had the necessary knowledge and skills to help me than anything else. I have no idea how many times now I’ve had my bits poked and prodded so I just left my dignity at the door in the end and got on with it. I do prefer now dealing with my surgeon as she has a better bedside manner than all the others I’ve seen!
I’m retired, so don’t have to think about work, but I hope your meeting goes well-he might feel a bit uncomfortable too, but just be honest about how you feel about any return to work, especially as it’s a strenuous job. Your health is the most important thing to consider and it takes time to adapt to life after cancer.
The further out you are from treatment and/or surgery the easier I have found it. I have an attitude that I would describe as being a positive realist. Yes, I had cancer and it recurred, but was treated and it went well. I am well with no sign of a further recurrence so that’s what I focus on. I don’t entertain the words “but what if?…” as it doesn’t help me to think like that. I think in the present and how I am today and that works for me. I don’t like to sit and worry as there are enough other things in life to worry about.
It’s nice to chat to others, even if it’s strangers on a forum with a common bond. I’ve made so many friends on the community here with different types of cancer but shared experiences in different ways, and find it really helps to be able to chat with others. Cancer can feel like a lonely place but it’s good to talk!
Sarah xx
Aww sometimes a cuddle off a pet is like a tonic and absolutely priceless… plus they take your mind off things so Ruby was definitely sent for a reason
I was at the stage when it didn’t bother me who saw my ‘bits’ male or female at the hospital as I knew it needed doing My manager from work tho talking about it was embarrassing I’ve decided tho tomorrow if he’s asking questions I’ll answer him and if he’s not embarrassed then I won’t be think it was just with me being nearly 60 and talking to a young bloke about my ‘foof’ was a bit uncomfortable as didn’t know what to say.
Sun is out today so I’m kicking myself up the backside and going out to paint my bench sunshine definitely helps … plus Ruby is behaving for once ha ha x
I’m Scottish, and never heard the word “foof” until I moved to England-now it’s the only word I use in that department!
Hope you’ve had a successful day-the sun shining makes a real difference to my mood, even though I can’t get out of the house. At least I can see a blue sky and I’ve accomplished a few tasks today. We are away all day Saturday visiting relatives so hoping the weather stays fine.
Sarah xx
Foof ha ha I said it to the nurse and she hadn’t heard of it lol she said she would remember it tho from now on tho ha ha
Had a nice chilled day .. sunshine and listening to a bit Northern Soul music ..it’s the simple things in life … feel like I’ve recharged my batteries Even Ruby behaved lol
Just need to get my works meeting out the way tomorrow and I’ll be even more chilled .. hopefully lol xx
Foof is a brilliant word! And recharging those batteries is good for us. My cats have both been very quiet and well behaved today which is really good too! Just in the process of booking a past life regression, so that’s my next thing to look forward to!
Sarah xx
Ohhhh wow I like the sound of that that will be so interesting. Something I’ve heard of and loved the sound of but never thought of doing. Got me thinking now lol x
My partner has done this twice now and it was amazing. Now we are going to have a session for me, and a double session for us both. I am a real sceptic and over thinker, so I’m very much looking forward to it. Looking for certain answers, so I’ll be interested to see if I can learn anything from it.
Sarah xx
I used to listen to a radio show on a night years ago and the bloke used to do ghost hunts and different things like that at times… Alan Robson’s Night Owls .. Really interesting listening to it all ..
Def got me going to have a look into it as I know my friends would be interested as well knowing my luck I’ll have been some witch burnt at the stake lol x
