Waiting for my biopsy results

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Hi, I am 38 and have two children 17 and15,

My story so far, I had my smear on the 22nd January, on the 9th feb came back as abnormal, got referred on the 14th had my appointment they found a marble sized lump on my vagina wall and done a LLETZ there and then! They took 5 biopsies (witch I thought was a lot) 

this week has been so hard and my head has gone to some very dark thoughts! I have had 5 people (family and best friend) die of cancer in the last 3 1/2 years. I haven’t been to work this week DR signed me off and said to keep myself busy with the things that I love!! Finding that hard all I’ve been doing is cleaning. I haven’t told anyone only my partner as I don’t want them to worry if there’s nothing to worry about. 

I don’t really have a question just wanted to chat