Hello,
I’m new to this group and first time posting. I didn’t think I’d need a group like this for support but turns out I think I do.
I had a LLETZ procedure back in February following some abnormal cell changed detected in my smear. My biopsy results came back and a cancerous tumor was removed as part of the loop. I then had to have a second loop procedure at the end of April of which the results came back and all looked ok and no cancer found. I have a follow up Colposcopy appointment in October. I do also appear to have cervical stenosis, and have to insert oestrogen cream twice per week to try and prevent my cervix from completely closing. I’m genuinely over my ladies plumbing, and as someone who doesn’t want to have children I’d happily have the lot removed but I don’t think this is an option at the minute.
I thought I was ok and dealing with it all quite well, but I’m not. I’m genuinely dreading my next colposcopy and I can’t help but feel like my cards are marked and that cancer has me firmly in its grasp and will get me again. I know I shouldn’t think like that, and I should try to stay positive until my next check up in October, but it’s all I can think about. It’s driving me insane.
I don’t know who else to really talk to as I don’t think anyone else quite understands. I’m the first person in our entire family to be told they’ve had some form of cancer.
Not really sure what I’m looking for in response to this post, I just wanted to share my feelings and where I’m at with it all at the minute.
Thanks for reading x
Hi NatG and welcome to our group.
I’m sorry to read how worried you are and how much this is impacting your life. As your cancer was removed in a loop it must have been very early stage which is actually a positive thing.
We all worry about recurrence once we’ve had cancer-I know I did, and it did happen to me but my my stage at diagnosis was much higher than yours appears to have been so it was more likely for me.
I think it’s very natural to be worried about having another colposcopy, but your last procedure showed no signs of cancer, so hopefully this will be the same. You are being closely monitored, so if anything were to be found it could be treated quickly. Hysterectomies are only performed when there is a valid medical reason, rather than you requesting it, and as you don’t have cancer there is no reason to do it at this point.
You are welcome to be here with us, but if you need some more support then please consider calling the support line (number is in my signature) where you can speak to a nurse of just get some emotional support.
I’ve learned over the years of dealing with cancer that worrying just robs you of time you can be living, but serves no purpose. If you are worrying now, and nothing is found then the worry was for nothing. If you worry and something is found, you go through the worry twice. Yes, you have concerns, but I hope you can find ways of coping with this and not letting it dominate your life.
Sarah xx
