New to group and terrified

Hi all, just had attempted hysteroscopy after post menopausal bleeding, found hard abnormal cervix and consultant confident it's cancer. Previously normal CT, awaiting MRI in 2 weeks then appointment at start of May when the MDT had met to discuss treatment. Really not coping with anxiety and keep checking lymph nodes etc, thinking every twinge means that things are getting worse. How do people manage things during this time? I'm finding it incredibly challenging. 

  • Hi Pv1 im so sorry you are going through this and am sending lots of hugs your way!

    The not knowing and the waiting i feel is the worst part, especially if your consultant has already mentioned the word cancer to you.  You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t scared, anxious and mentally drained.  All the feelings you have are totally normal & you are definately not on your own.  I found just compartmentalising everything as i went along helped, not thinking too far ahead (easier said than done i know) you say you have an mri in two wks so try not to look further than that for now.  Take it a day at a time. Its hard not to think every twinge etc is things getting worse, we naturally go there in our heads, normal everyday aches and pains suddenly will be the cancer.  Again its normal, but dont forget you have just had a hysteroscopy so this will cause you some pain & twinges post procedure so maybe thats what you are experiencing? 
    Id definately speak to someone regarding your concerns though there are helpline numbers on here and you can talk to someone over the phone which i find easier than face to face. Maybe they can start to ease your concerns even just a little bit. 

    I was given this number below to phone from someone i spoke to on here, give them a try.  
    I am wishing you all the luck in the world and hope you can mentally get to grips with all this and ease your concerns and anxieties Hearts ️ 

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi  and welcome to our group.

    You are in a very difficult position now with the doctor mentioning cancer but not having received a formal diagnosis yet-the waiting period to know more is one of the hardest times to go through. 

    I see you’ve already had some very good advice from  about not looking too far ahead and focusing on the next step, though I understand it’s hard when your thoughts are running wild. I found things much easier to deal with once I had a formal diagnosis and all the scans to establish the stage of my cancer and the treatment plan, and lots of other ladies in the group have said the same.

    Once you know what you’re dealing with, the focus becomes getting through the treatment. For the moment, we do tend to think that every twinge must mean cancer but that’s rarely the case-it’s just that our minds are powerful things and can make us feel things physically, especially when our anxiety is high. Try not to poke about at lymphnodes if you can as this can make them painful.

    Your MRI will likely be the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle, and once the results are collated with your other results and have been to the mdt, things will move fairly quickly to get your treatment started. Obviously at this point it’s not possible to say what that treatment may involve as it will depend on the stage of the cancer. 

    In terms of coping strategies for the wait and the anxiety, I found the Headspace app on my phone useful. You can get the free version and it helps you concentrate on the moment, controlling your breathing and focusing on the now. Calming apps were also good for me-sounds of the ocean etc, which relaxed me. And basically keeping busy doing other things you enjoy-for me adult colouring books require concentration and take my mind off worrying.

    It is a challenge to manage your feelings, but some of these self help techniques I’ve mentioned were really useful in my case.

    Please feel free to use the group for support as you’re going through this-ask any questions you’d like, or just vent and share your feelings. You’ll find that we understand exactly what you’re going through, and it can be easier to share your feelings sometimes with strangers who understand than talking to close friends or family when you don’t want to worry them. Please don’t be a stranger-we will help you if we can.

    Sarah xx


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    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm