Hi all, I’m new here 
I was diagnosed with cervical cancer stage 3c1 in November and started treatment in January. I underwent chemotherapy, radiotherapy and brachytherapy. I finally got the good news that I’m in remission on the 24th May..
finally felt like I got my life back… until this week! 
The news of having cancer was bad enough but I had the wonderful support of my family and my partner, but I found out that while I was in hospital having brachytherapy miles away from home with no family around me that my partner had arranged to see a female escort, he had her number and the address of where to meet her. When I confronted him about it he told me he couldn’t go through with it as he knew it was wrong. I had said to him when I was having treatment that because I couldn’t have sex that maybe he should go elsewhere but he told me that he could wait and that he would never do that.
I will never actually know if he did go through with it or not and I don’t know how I feel about it.. I just don’t know what to do.. I’m so upset that he would even consider it but at the same time I was unwell and unable to do anything at that time.
Obviously after brachytherapy I was encouraged to have sex and we had been but I was so scared. Things seemed to be getting better but now finding out this I feel like it’s my fault, my body let me down and I hate it..
has anyone got any advice or had something similar?
HiGarfield and welcome to our group!
I’m sorry I wasn’t around to say hello when you posted, but I’ve been unwell and out of action.
I’ve not experienced anything like your situation, so not sure I am in a position to try and give any advice at all, since after my surgery sex is not possible in my world!
You have been through a huge amount in terms of treatment etc, and well done for getting through and getting a Ned result. That’s a huge achievement!
My advice would be not to look backwards as you’re not going that way. Don’t focus on something which may or may not have happened and torture yourself with it, as it will just eat you up inside to no purpose. Your focus should be on healing and recovery, both mental and physical and that’s the most important thing to concentrate on I would say.
Only you know whether you can cope with this and put it out of your mind. You were ill, undergoing intensive treatment, so sex was hardly a priority. I do find it a little odd, sorry, that you gave your partner “permission” to go elsewhere for sex. In a loving relationship that wouldn’t be acceptable to me at all. I can never have sex again, but my relationship is absolutely strong enough to deal with that. As I say, I’m not likely to be the best person to give advice, but I noticed no-one else had replied. Perhaps the other ladies are also finding it a difficult subject to deal with.
Sarah xx
