Hi
The 16th of May 2021 will stay with me forever. After experiencing heavy clotting I was diagnosed with cervical cancer that had advanced to my uterus and lymph nodes.
A blur of time whizzed by consumed with scans, meetings and appointments to the 8th of June where my first of 8 induction chemos started, I was absolutely petrified! Week 6 and 7 were cancelled as my white cells weren’t playing the game... the fear was unreal. Week 8 went ahead as planned. I then started 5 weeks of radio and chemo combined.... the treatment was having an effect on my body like I had never known, I remember thinking “as long as it’s having the same effect on the cancer!”
Week 4 of this chemo was my 40th birthday.... what a way to spend it, 8 hours of infusions along with a trip to get my radio! Week 5 was yet again cancelled as I lost full feeling in my hands and feet.
I then got a 2 week break!!! I was lost as in to what should I do with my day/time....it was filled with sleeping, eating, crying and maybe some more crying!
I then went into hospital to get prepped for my first of 2 brachytherapy sessions...(not sure I was prepped mentally!!) Both sessions were exactly the same and the feeling of relief of that part of my journey being over was mixed if I’m honest.
Then the letter arrived.... MRI time! 3rd of December off I went to the hospital with every feeling of anxiety rushing through me.... or so I thought at the time as the levels of anxiety I experienced on Monday 20th for the results was in a league of its own!
The nurse took us through and made pleasant small talk however every part of me just wanted my oncologist to enter the room! The door opened and to my shock it wasn’t him! He is off poorly with Covid I was told, my heart sank! I quickly realised the doctor I was faced with I recognised from being in the ward and remembered he seemed nice.
After apologising for the absence of my doctor and the reasons he then opened the sentence with “I’ll just cut to the chase”
My heart was pounding, my hands were sweating, my eyes were darting around the room as I heard the most amazing words “Your MRI is showing clear, there is no evidence of cancer remaining” I looked at my partner and saw the tears in his eyes, I looked at the nurse and I could see by her eyes she had a reassuring smile under her mask and I just sat there. The rush of emotions was unreal, do I cry, do I thank them, can I stay calm, I needed to tell our son.... everything was running around my mind however I sat and tried to concentrate on what this god of a doctor was saying!
After more info, a brief examination and some banter we left the room.... as I walked through the department to go to the car the tears came, the shock hit me and I just smiled.
Right now I feel like the luckiest person in the world, however I know there are people that are not so lucky. I am eternally grateful to my oncology team, my Mcmillian nurse was an absolute diamond and at times I felt like she was my sister.
The journey is hard, so hard on your body, harder on the mind and heartbreaking for friends and family but it is a journey and the choice, for me, was to ride it!
I have never discussed my experience during treatment as I couldn’t. Now, I want to. For myself, and for other people out there, no matter the stage of it.
If anyone out there needs an ear or wants to ask me anything at all, please do. I’m far from an expert however I’m honest, non judgmental and real.
I’m sending positive vibes to everyone, we are all fighters!
Hello 470132 and welcome to the group.
Thank you for sharing your story with us and congratulations on your clear scan-it’s such a relief to hear those words, and I’m sure your story will bring lots of hope, especially to the ladies newly diagnosed who are about to embark on their treatment plans.
You are right about how tough the treatment is, but you’ve shown just how effective it can be and I’m sure that will give so much encouragement to everyone facing it. xx
Morning Lynne,
I don’t think I’ve seen you before in the group (apologies if I’ve missed anything) but wanted to say welcome to our part of the community and hello! If there’s anything you’d like to ask or talk about, please feel free to join in with us-we are a very supportive group and will be happy to help if we can. xx
Hi Jen
Yes, feelings I’m very familiar with and I can completely identify with you on that. I didn’t share anything much with anyone when I had my first round with this cancer-I just couldn’t bring myself to tell or share anything and I wasn’t a part of any type of support group. We all deal with things in different ways, and I chose to keep everything bottled up as my way of dealing with it, and concentrating on getting through the treatment.
Having had my cancer recur, my views changed and I took a different approach which actually was much better for me. I joined a support group on Facebook and met some wonderful ladies who really understood and I could say anything I needed to say. It was hugely helpful for me not to be alone in this, and I have made some lovely new friends.
I recently joined this community in the hope that I could give something back, and help and support others based on my own experiences and all the things I have learned going through this twice now. Already I’ve found this to be so helpful to me in addition to the help and support I hope I can give to others.xx
Hi Jen
I’m all finished my treatment for my second round thank you and keeping well! But I don’t believe that once you have cancer, the anxiety ever really goes completely no matter what your results are-it’s difficult not to have that worry somewhere at the back of your mind. It definitely does ease, but for me getting told my cancer was back after getting the all clear a few months previously was a huge blow to my confidence about how I was doing. I had no symptoms, so I’m lucky it was discovered.
But I’m a positive person generally, so picked myself up and got on with the next stage. And I was extremely grateful to have a great team looking after me who literally saved my life. I still don’t talk much about my second round of this, but I do run a private Facebook page for ladies in the same position as I was and it’s been good to talk there. xxx
