Hi - thank you for taking time to read!
My 59 year old mum was suffering all of last year with what started as foot pain and constant urination, plus weight loss which I noticed months ago (and possibly other symptoms that she didn't tell us about). By Christmas 2025 both of her feet were swollen up past her ankle, the skin was so tight, and one foot was causing severe nerve pain.
On January 1st 2026 I took her to A&E to try and get to the bottom of it, and long story short, after scans and biopsy's, they told my mum that she had cervical cancer and that it was too far gone for any treatment / surgery. The cancer had destroyed her cervix, and had gone up to her bladder and down to her vagina wall (and bowel slightly I think).
This had created an impact on her kidneys as it was affecting the tubes from kidneys to bladder, causing the frequent urination feeling that she had been having. They tried to put stents in from the kidney's to her bladder. However, one kidney isn't working well and it couldn't have a stent. The other kidney had the stent to her bladder put in, but then afterwards, she had lost control of holding the urine in at all. It kept coming out of her as and when, and she couldn't stop it. They couldn't use a catheter because of the tumour blocking that area. AND her body then rejected the stent anyway.... so they removed the stent.
She now has permanent tubes coming out of her back to drain the waste into leg bags.
I'm taking her for a PET CT full body scan on Thursday to see if they can offer anything and to see how far spread the cancer really is (even though the consultant in hospital at the time said they couldn't do anything). I assume one option might be radiotherapy to help with pain? She is now on long lasting morphine tablets, but the nerve damage is hurting her foot still. So she is just about to start nerve pain medication as well. And she has paracetamol for any break through pain.
Whilst in hospital my mum had a couple of blood transfusions as her blood count was low and she was anaemic. Her skin is very pale and dry.
My mum only weighs just over 6 stone now and she has been offered high calorie drinks to help. She manages to eat, not huge meals but sandwiches, snacks, small meals and fresh orange, fruit etc. But the weight has severally dropped off.
She has been referred to our local Macmillan team and she has a district nurse who comes once a week to see if she needs anything and to help with changing her leg bags.
I'm not sure what the hospital can do for her in regards to potential radiotherapy etc, and I'm not sure how long she may have.... no one has ever said... just that they cannot do anything. The unknown and waiting for more information is so hard.
If anyone has / is going through similar or has any advice then I'd appreciate it. I know no one can truly give me a time, but I just want to know if we are talking months or years...
Hi Tina88 and welcome to our group.
I’m so sorry to read your post and what has happened with your mum. This must have been very difficult for you and your mum to hear at the hospital.
It sounds as if your mum is very unwell, and that the cancer is likely to be advanced from the pain and symptoms she is having. You are already aware of the impact the cancer has had on her cervix and bladder, with the need for the nephrostomy bags to drain urine and losing her bladder control. The petscan will be done to show the extent of the cancer spread, and where it has gone, and I know it’s very hard to wait for more information so I hope the results don’t take long to come through.
She will have an appointment with a specialist to discuss the scan results, and they will decide if any treatment can be offered. It’s impossible for any of us to guess what that might be, but unfortunately in some cases it’s not possible to offer any treatment and the focus will be on making your mum as comfortable as possible and managing her pain.
She sounds very weak and has had a lot of weight loss from what you’ve said, and the doctors need to take account her ability to withstand any treatment if she is frail. I can understand you would want her to have something, but in situations where it might be of no ultimate benefit, the doctors need to weigh this up in making their decision to treat or not.
Your mum can ask for a prognosis but only if she wants to know how long she might have. This is usually a best guess made by the doctors based on other patients who have been in a similar situation, and if your mum doesn’t want to know, then they will not tell her. Some people want to know, but others don’t, so the doctors will respect that.
This must be incredibly hard for you as her daughter to watch and deal with, so I hope that you have some other support around you from friends and family. You can reach out to the support line (the number is in my signature) as this is available not just for cancer patients themselves. You can get emotional support from Macmillan for yourself, and can also speak to the nurses who can give general advice on the medical stuff although not specifically relating to your mum as they don’t have access to nhs medical records.
I hope you will keep in touch and let us know what happens-I’m not aware of other family members dealing with this situation in the group but if we do then I hope they’ll post with some support for you if they read this. In the meantime, you are very welcome to be with us here and I hope that it help you in knowing you are not alone.
Sarah xx
