I don't know what to do

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I have just been diagnosed with stage 3 or 4 cervical cancer, and will be confirmed what stage hopefully this week. Can I just ask I'm I stupid thinking that I can fight this ... I know I won't beat it but I can fight it and live with it for years.

Is this possible???? Or am I been stupid 

  • Hi  and welcome to our group.

    I’m so sorry to read of your diagnosis, that’s a lot to process for anyone, and I hope you’ll be able to have your staging confirmed this week, which will determine your treatment plan. Most of us at diagnosis find ourselves with our heads in a spin, not knowing what’s going to happen, and that’s a very scary place to be. I think we’ll all understand your feelings right now. 

    I know many people talk about “fighting” cancer, and “beating” it, or not, so forgive me if I take a different attitude to how I look at it. I prefer to use words like “dealing” with it, or “living” with it as being gentler.  Please never think you are stupid for anything you think or feel-you are going through a lot in receiving a diagnosis like this. 

    There are a number of new members to the group who have been diagnosed with stage 3 recently who are about to embark on their treatment plans so I hope they’ll come along and say hello and you can connect and share with them. They would be able to tell you that they are being treated with curative intent, so the hope is that it could be the same for you. A number of ladies have come through the group having completed their treatment very successfully for stage 3, and are out on the other side now with successful scans showing no evidence of disease.

    I appreciate that a stage 4 diagnosis could be different, but in my personal circle of friends outside of this forum I have one who receives maintenance treatment but is clear at stage 4 after almost 8 years now-she lives a very full life indeed, so it is possible even with this staging. 

    In my own situation, my cancer recurred after previously successful treatment, and although it wasn’t formally re staged, just called recurrent cervical  cancer, it was treated as stage 4 as it had spread to my womb and bladder. So I’ve been through advanced cancer, and it was a very difficult time. However, if I can give you some hope, that second diagnosis was in 2019. 

    I was able to have a very extensive surgery, which changed my life, but did save it. I’ve never needed any further treatment, and have done really well overall, with no further issues. 

    There are a number of possibilities for treatment, so please let us know when you can of your final staging and the plan of action. We are here to help and support you from our own experiences, and the ladies in the group are very willing to share and be here for you. The worst time for most of us is the waiting for staging and a treatment plan, but once you have that you can focus on pushing forward and getting through. 

    Please stick with us and we will do our best to help you.

    Sarah xx

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    Cervical Cancer Forum

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Thank u so much for this Sarah this has made me feel abit more positive and that I can face anything 

    I will keep u updated when I find out my staging at the moment I'm trying to stay strong and positive and keep my mind straight for myself mainly and for my husband and daughter 

    But again thank u so much xx

  • Try not to force yourself to be strong and positive for everyone as it puts a lot of pressure on yourself when it’s difficult for you. Keeping a positive mindset is a really good thing to help you through, but nobody can be strong and positive all the time-we’re only human and we get frightened by cancer! 

    Please feel free to post any time-fears and worries, advice on treatments and side effects, anything you need. This is somewhere safe to vent, ask any questions, and nothing is too much information. Also, no question is too silly if you don’t know the answer, so feel free to ask whatever you’d like to. We may not always know the answer, but we’re here to support however we can, we can point you to other help and resources,  and we understand how this can rock your world. You can find strength within yourself you might not have even known you had in facing this. I found that and surprised myself! 

    Sarah xx

    Community Champion Badge

    Cervical Cancer Forum

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi Emma

    Just wanted to stop by and say hello!

    I’ve just started treatment for rare small cell and it’s 3C1. Treatment intent is to cure. 

    Everyone is different and we all cope differently, my coping mechanism is humour. (I’ve had my dark days too!)

    A friend wrote this in a card, which I saved as so true:

    ”Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means even on hard days you know that there are better ones coming”.

    Hope you’re doing ok and have some further answers x

  • Hi  

    Just wanted to see how you’re getting on if you had had any more information yet? Hoping you are ok.

    Sarah xx

    Community Champion Badge

    Cervical Cancer Forum

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hello Emmjw76, I just joined this group yesterday.  I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis.  That sounds really tough.  I don't know much about any of this yet, so I won't comment about that, but I am sending positive thoughts and compassion.


    Linda T