Wife has secondary breast cancer in lung, I'm devastated

Hi Qqqqqqqqq 

Welcome to our community, I hope you find it useful.

My wifes cancer is Leiomyosarcoma but similar to your wife she has secondaries in her lung. The oncologists first found it when they biopsied lymph nodes. Like your wife her cancer is hormone sensitive and as such she is taking Leterzole to cause her ovary to shut down.

Janice never wanted a prognosis and I really struggled with that, however over the years I have come to realize that as best they are a guess based on averages and often provide little in the way of help; still once someone has a number that tends to become a big focus. 

I find some of the advice in your feelings when someone has cancer really helpful in helping me recognize my emotions and accepting them as normal can help to make them less overwhelming. You might like to introduce yourself on our forums Carers only forum and/or Family and friends forum because one thing I found is that if I wanted to be the best for my wife I had to look after me too.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hello,

I’m so sorry your wife has had this diagnosis and my heart goes out to you both. I also have secondary breast cancer spread to the lungs which is oestrogen positive and was diagnosed in May. One of my worst experiences shortly after my diagnosis was being told by a surgeon I might have 18 months to live! but my oncologist then told me there was no basis for this claim. I agree the statistics are terrifying but one thing I’ve been told repeatedly by my oncologist is that every case is different which sounds like a cop out but from speaking to other cancer patients I realise that’s true. I’m on letrozole and rinociclib and I’m not sure if your wife is on something similar but my oncologist told me he has patients who are still on this treatment since the hospital started using it in 2017. Admittedly that won’t be everyone but I try and think of this in my low moments. It’s hard for me to give advice as I’m still struggling to come to terms with this diagnosis myself, it really is devastating especially in the early days but I hope this helps a bit. Hugs to you both.

Sorry for the delay, thank you so much for finding the time to send a message, I'm at a stage where I feel I just don't want to talk to anyone  and I seem to be on a very short fuse with friends  and family. Both  my Wife and I are just so down with this,probably  more so me. For the past two weeks she has been getting  pain in her ribs and shoulder  blade. We're  worried  sick that it's now spread. Don't get me wrong. I think the NHS do a brilliant  job. But feel we've been let down to a degree. It's been almost 5 months now since my wife was alerted of a Cancer Signal.but thankfully treatment starts tomorrow.  She was part of the Galleri  Trial  to detect  cancer in the DNA so the medics can act fast, sadly  this doesn't  seem to have happened for us.they even stopped her Tamoxifen  two weeks ago and has had no treatment  whatsoever.  She will be having a CT scan in the morning  to determine  the benchmark,  we are petrified  that it's going to be in her Bones now. Almost  5 months ago they said it was Nodules in the Lung. She has had a call from Macmillan  to say,they are there to help as much as possible  and they did acknowledge  that I need help too, by suggesting  Butterwick . But in my head I feel talking won't give. Me in particular,  the help I/we need. I think the more people I hear of surviving for 10,15,20 years gives me some hope. I'm sorry  I'm just banging on. I just feel so, out of control  and can't help her,I almost feel annoyed that she has become poorly. And yet I know it's not her fault. I love her so much.life can be so cruel  and so unfair.  Sorry I just don't really know what I'm saying.  But I really do appreciate  your support  along with lovedbyArchiedog. I'm just lost to be honest. But thanks again for your support , it means a lot xx

Hi lovedbyArchiedog 

Again, so sorry for  the delay. The message  I sent to src60 is also for you. You too have taken the time to message. When you  are also having it rough. I just wish I was as strong as you and like a lot of people  on this forum. You are doing really well if they said 18 months. Well done. Your words have given me hope,they really have. You have not helped a bit. But a lot. Thank you so much. Keep going you seem to be very strong too, I don't know you,but I'm proud of you, for the shear fact that you are determined  not to accept 18 months  well done and keep going.  Hugs from us two too xx

Hello again,

No need at all to apologise, I completely understand what you are both going through. I can honestly say I was a complete mess when I was diagnosed in May and the gap between diagnosis and starting treatment was the worst time of my life. Since starting treatment things are less awful as it feels like all that can be done is being done now although I won’t lie and pretend I don’t have very dark moments! I too have fears the cancer has spread to my bones because of pain in my shoulder, hands and knees. I’ve actually had an x ray on my shoulder today and am keeping everything crossed it won’t be more horrible mets. I also wanted to say my GP thinks there’s a chance the cancer is pressing on my shoulder from the lung and that this is quite a common occurrence with lung mets. Obviously, I don’t know what is causing my pain or your wife’s but let’s hope it’s not the worst that we fear and I will keep everything crossed for both of us. Something I’ve also found helpful is attending a secondary cancer support group. At first I thought it would just make me feel worse but I have met people who’ve been on different treatments for years there, one woman I spoke to last time was diagnosed 7 years ago which gave me some hope as when I was first diagnosed (via a phone call!!) I didn’t think I’d last the weekend. You and your wife are both in my thoughts and I hope her ct scan went okay xx