How should I be feeling?

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I’m 6 months into a secondary breast cancer, spread to liver, diagnosis.4 months into treatment- ribociclib, zoladex & letrozole.

I don’t know how I should feel, I don’t talk. I’ve got loads of people I can talk to and a partner also but I can’t talk to any of them, about anything. Is it me? I feel like I’m not dealing with this as I should be but then what is the correct way? I’m not in denial, I’m fully aware of what’s going on. Would I feel better surrounding myself with people in a similar position? I can’t bare the thought of a group chat, not my thing and it’s almost like I’d be going to a club I didn’t wanna join…..

Someone tell me these feelings are normal please….

  • Hi Kelspeth and welcome to the forum. Define normal???? Normal is whatever it is to you that makes you feel ok about things however other people think or cope with them. Nobody can tell you how to feel or what to feel, it is whatever you feel that is important in this and thats the point to remember, you do this your way and in a way that suits you best and no one else. 

    So to answer your question:- the feelings are perfectly normal, simply because they are yours and they are important to you.

    We are here anytime if you do feel that you want to chat, but no pressure to do that.

    Sending best wishes your way. xxxx


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  • Hi Kelspeth. I think it is perfectly normal to feel as you do. When I got my secondary diagnosis in Oct 2021 I couldn't see two weeks ahead let alone 2 years, my head was full of fog and I couldn't see a future. Once I started treatment (Fulvestrant and palbociclib) I started to feel better as at least something was being done. As it turned out it didn't work, but paclitaxel did, though obviously its not a drug you can take forever so due to peripheral neuropathy I was off treatment for 10 months, until progression meant I needed something new. I am now on Capecetabine. It is too early to say if it is doing the job, but I am hopeful and side effects are not too bad at the moment. I have learnt not to put things off just in case I feel ill, and accepting limitations (mainly tiredness and not being able to walk for miles) is getting easier. Give yourself time, and try not to give in to the dark thoughts. If we are honest we probably all get them.