Hi Folks

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Hi all, this is the first time I’ve posted in a group.
My name is Gillian, I’m 50 and I’m in palliative care after my breast cancer which I had in 2018, decided to continue the party and I had a full spinal cord collapse in October 2020 when they found a huge tumour in my spine which had severed my spine.

I went from being on my feet to paralysed from the chest down in the space of 90 minutes. I’m married and have 2 boys (21 and 18) who are amazing and I honestly don’t know how they’ve coped with me..

Yesterday I was told that it’s possibly gone into my bowel now, so waiting on an “urgent” appointment for a colonoscopy!

I’m so totally done with this complete sh#t show, I’m tired and sore and just so fed up with the whole thing. In 2020 I was given 24 months, I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for a promise I made my youngest son I would have given up. As it is now I just want to stop.

Anyway, moan over and thanks for listening x

Lavenderpansy over 2 years ago

Oh Gill sorry for your awful situation. It is difficult especially when you have children. Hopefully the cancer hasn’t spread to the bowel. I hope you will start to feel a little better and more comfortable. Hugs to youxx

Meiard over 2 years ago

That’s the good thing about this and similar sites; you can be honest about how you feel as we can appreciate it! It is not surprising that you are down about this. We all dread progression. Are you on any meds to help prevent this?
I hope your bowel is ok and the docs can help you feel better. Perhaps you should get some counselling support too. It is absolutely sh*t having to deal with our disease, and your situation is worse than most.

Gill71 over 2 years ago

Hi both x thanks for your kindness and appreciation of the situation.
I am having counselling but I don’t think she ‘gets it’. She says all the right things but it feels as though every week is the same.

I’m taking an anti depressant now but treatment wise I take a hormone suppression drug and I decided to stop the tablet form of chemo. It was just making me worse, I could barely stay awake and every day was the same, so,I stopped as it was only giving me maybe another 6 months but what good is that if you’re a zombie.

Thanks for listening, we all have our struggles and no matter what you’re story is with the ‘C’ we all have it as bad as each other xx much love G

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