Hello

Hello Fran 

tiur post really helped me I have just got back from my last round of chemotherapy today I was diagnosed with breast cancer and secondary bone cancer a few weeks later it’s been up and down it’s verrefreshing to hear your post I need hope and today your post has given me hope I hope and pray for you

I am so glad it helped and good luck.  I was diagnosed one week and told i had lung mets the following week. Now you have had your last round of chemo hopefully you will start to feel stronger and less fatigued.  

Hi Flossy

Thanks for your positive story. It does really help to hear that ladies are living long term with secondary cancer. Thank you!

I have just started a new chemo - Gemcarbo - and I've struggled this week. I was previously on oral chemo which wasn't working but now I've switched to IV it's knocked me sideways!

Can I ask why you're struggling recently? 

Hi fhgirl

I hope things will feel better for you on the new chemo soon.  I used to find the first few days the worst and about a week after the IV things started to feel a little better.  

I am struggling a bit mentally really rather than with the physical side of things.  I do have lympedema in my arm and side and tire easily but I can handle that.   I've cared for my parents for many many years but recently my sister who has not been involved in their care at all (and now lives hundreds of miles away) has told me that I can't do things for them or be involved because i have cancer and my mum is shutting me out.   Silly really but I feel useless and of no value.   My Dad is very close to the end of his life and my mum who is 83 is exhausted and struggling but refuses to accept my help and this is hard to see.  Family problems really rather than due to my cancer although i was shocked when my cancer was thrown in my face.  Bet you wish you hadn't asked

No I'm very glad I asked. 

We're here to support in any way we can and sometimes just saying things in an anonymous forum helps hugely.

I'm sorry your sister is shutting you out. You've had cancer for 10 years and have cared for your parents in this time. Perhaps they are trying to lighten your load? Although I expect you absolutely want to be there at this time particularly when you have helped and cared throughout. Families can be strange. I expect they have good intentions but the fact remains you feel shut out. And it seems like you are still very capable of looking after your parents. 

Are you able to talk with your sister to see where this is coming from?

Thank you for this.  My sister is who she is and I have to accept that.  Need to focus on your treatment and keeping your spirits up through this new treatment.  I remember when I had my first chemo treatment it was almost like my body was saying what the hell was that when the drugs hit.   The next time and every other time more like here we go again.  It is tough to endure there is no doubt about that but hopefully this new drug will be more effective at controlling the cancer.  My thoughts are with you.  Keep strong when possible.  

Thanks @flossy

Managed to get out to the garden centre today (husband is obsessed with cacti and houseplants at the moment!).

Then went out for a dog walk.

Can't lie though really wasn't expecting the chemo to make me feel like this. My movements feel slower even getting up the stairs. And you're right I do feel here we go again in anticipation of Monday's session. As my husband says I need to be kind to myself. I also am finding myself needing the loo a lot. I should mention it know Monday but as soon as I wee I feel like I want to wee again. 

Are you on any medication at the moment or are you happily NED?

Hi fhgirl

Glad you managed to get to the garden centre its good if you can get out when you feel able.  Not so good if it just feels like too much.  Walking the dog is always good and he/she will show you so much love for it mine certainly does. 

Your husband is completely right you must be kind to yourself and even a little selfish at times to get through the worst of this.  It sounds like you have a good and supportive husband. 

Definitely tell them on Monday about the weeing it may well be a side affect or possibly you have picked up a UTI that they can deal with.  As I'm sure you know chemo affects everything.  

Currently I am NED and just taking anastrozole and a few others to counter the long term side affects of medication mainly to do with bones and joints damage and GORD due to the steroids I have had.  Blood tests on Tuesday and check up the following week, hopefully no change.  

My movements were slow and I had balance issues so mention anything like as well on Monday just in case there is anything they can do to help.  

Take care of yourself and as your husband says be kind to yourself.  Monday will be tough but one less session to endure before fingers crossed you get a break.  How many sessions do you have to have?  

I think the gemcarbo is given for 6 cycles. What happens after that if is deemed to be working is anyones guess I suppose. Hopefully my bloods will be OK and I'll be able to have tomorrow's dose.

I had low neutrophils after my second cycle of capectibaine and it was such an emotional blow not being able to start my third cycle. 

I will go in with a list of the side effects. 

That's great that your NED. Thus is truly the outcome any of us can wish for when we can't wish the cancer away. Stability is brilliant so well done to you for keeping it at bay. 

On the downside is that while I am slumped on the sofa - they have played the cancer research advert with 1 in 2 statistic of cancer at every single ad break. It's a little too much. Thankfully my husband is now watching football. 

Those adverts mean well but they are hard to watch when you actually have cancer.  Unfortunately it is likely to get worse for the next week or so because I think it is Cancer day or something like that on 4th Feb.  Maybe your husband can help edit those out of your viewing.  

It is great I am NED I am very aware of how lucky I am.  My consultant's policy for the last few years is to not change anything until I deteriorate.  The hospital tells me to keep on doing what I am doing I just wish i knew what that was so it could be bottled and passed on.

Having to stop must have been very hard I had a blood transfusion the day before my 5th infusion so that I could carry on.  My chemo was 6 sessions 3 weeks apart so lasted 4 months.  In terms of what happens after you finish the gemcarbo I think you have to try to just focus on the gemcarbo and when that is out of the way then say right ok what now.  Far easier said than done.  In my case i think I didn't have the energy to think about it too much for too long but i definitely did think and worry about it.  

I hope you are managing to sleep properly I have heard other people say that insomnia can be a real problem.  Fingers crossed that things can go ahead tomorrow.  OMG can't believe I have just wished chemo on someone.