Hi All
I received my Secondary diagnosis in November 2020 and really struggling now with this second lockdown and shielding ... anyone else?
I am 50 years of age and 7 years ago was diagnosed with Primary Breast Cancer and had lumpectomy / all lymph nodes removed from one arm / chemotherapy / radiotherapy and then a reduction on the healthy breast. Following all treatment which finished on 11th September 2014 when I had my scans in the November was given the all clear. Yay - or so I thought. Who knew that Cancer was the gift that kept on giving. I developed Neuropathy in my feet and hands / lymphoedema in my arm and breast / hypothyroidism / osteoarthritis and diabetes. You would have thought that my list was long enough without the addition of secondary breast cancer and another load of drugs. I don't like the chemo drugs - they make me nauseas / exhausted and have aggravated my neuropathy. I have pain in my jaw / teeth I am not quite sure to accompany the pain in my pelvis and legs where my tumours are.
My secondary diagnosis came 7 years after my primary one. I was shocked and devastated to get the news ... I thought I was invincible and had won the cancer fight. I developed a sore back ... to the point I couldn't walk / sit or lie down without pain. Following xrays / MRI and CT scans the bone metastasis was identified in my pelvic bone and my right femur bone.
I am on a cocktail of palbociclib / letrozole and zolandronic acid infusions. This along with all my other medications for all my other ailments means that when I do walk I rattle! Lol
Lockdown is tough - I've seen 1 friend in over a year. Thank god I am in a bubble with my parents and get to spend some time with them at weekends as I am still working full time, albeit from home.
I am tired ALL THE TIME ... I think I could stay in bed now until the day I die but I know i must keep going which is why I am still working, it gives me routine and purpose as there are some days I question that. I am on my own and finding that really difficult. I have never been that successful in the relationship department and know that there is no way now that I will ever meet someone so for me, thinking about all the things I would like on my life list, I know I won't achieve as I don't have anyone to do those things with. Yes friends and family can only do so much - but I find that difficult.
I also had to come to grips with the fact I would never be a mother, I so desperately wanted to be, but cancer robbed me of that. I have days where I am so angry - why me - but then other days - why not me. It is an emotional rollercoaster as I am sure you are all on for one reason or another.
Anyhow I think I've just offloaded months of therapy - as I haven't really spoken much about it since diagnosed and my parents are somewhat in denial it is never mentioned.
I look forward to sharing and hearing more about you all xx
