Secondary breast cancer comments by people.

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Does anyone else get people saying to them well we are all going to die.

I have stage four secondary breast cancer to bones.

People just don't think before they say something like that.

It's amazing the thoughtless things people say to you.

Hope everyone can have a lovely Christmas .

  • Hi Luppie welcome to the forum and how thoughtless of people to be saying such things to you. People just dont understand but we do here in this forum as we have all been somewhere along the journey that you are on so feel free to chat away and tell us a bit more about you and how you are feeling. xx 


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  • Thank you for your reply .

    My profile will tell you a bit about my diagnosis. 

    I just had finished all treatment when I got a lot of pain in my rib area.

    Got a scan and now have stage 4 with mets to my ribs sternum and spine.

    Obviously I was devastated. 

    Chemo had been very hard as I have Lupus and reacted badly.

    Had sepsis after first one.

    Now on Ribociclib and letrozole but side effects been troublesome.

    Carrying on as best I can.

    I live alone with my wee dog.

    Profile pic of her.

    She keeps me going and a great comfort to me.

    I hope you are doing as well as possible x

  • Hey Luppie so sorry for the diagnosis, tough times x

    I have secondary in the lungs and started on ribociclib. Side effects were hell and I ended up in hospital for a week with sepsis. Oncologist switched me to Palbociclib and side effects are now more manageable so keep talking to them, they tell me the best treatment is the one that the patient can manage and there are a few to try. Don’t be scared to ask for a try of another drug, it may improve your quality of life.

    As for your wee dog, she is a little treasure. Have a peaceful Christmas with her, I bet she is as spoilt as my dog Maddie,  all the best xxx

  • Thank for you for that good advice.

    I have a scan on 5th January then an appt few weeks later so will discuss with team then.

    Sepsis was scary I hope you have recovered from that.

    I hope you are as well as can be and Merry Christmas x

  • Merry Christmas Luppie, good health wishes for 2024 xx

  • Sorry you are getting this type of response. I think there is generally a poor understanding of what secondary cancer is. People variously think I now have liver cancer having had breast cancer (my mets are in my liver), tell me I have beaten it before so can beat it again, or think there is an end to my treatment (there isn’t), or get upset if I tell them it’s not curable. 

    Hope you have a good Christmas. 

  • People can react in strange ways sometimes. 

    Merry Christmas x

  • Think it is lack of understanding as to what secondary cancer is. I too get the 'you've got over it before you will be fine' type of comments

  • It can be hard to hear these comments.

  • When people come out with that mindless type of comment I usually think or say, yes, but not TODAY !

    lovely to hear you have your lovely dog with you xx