Where there's life there's hope

Im very sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis Kingsman01. This impacts you just as much as her, so I hope you are both practising self care. 

turning to your question, it’s important to have hope and put to the back of your mind whatever the doctor has said regarding prognosis. Its very imprecise and research lags behind us.

There are plenty of us on this site with secondary in all shapes and sizes so to speak, some of us are newly diagnosed, some have decades of this experience under their belts way and some are in between. The important thing to note is that you can live well with secondary cancer and more of us are and this is growing, in time the research will catch up and I hope the ‘two years’ that gets thrown at us at the beginning of diagnosis will be replaced with up to date data.

We have a positive news story thread, which I will post a link to below so you can see the success stories of people living with cancer. Have a read through with your wife when you can. It’s really important to see what can be done as it gives hope. 

community.macmillan.org.uk/.../positive-secondary-breast-cancer-stories

Back in 2004 my Grandmother, Lois, was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer that had metastasized to her bones in her leg and eventually her spine as well. When she was given the diagnosis she asked her doctor how long he thought she had left to live. At first the doctor refused to tell her what his prognosis was and what he thought her life expectancy was going to be as he didn't want to discourage her and didn't want her to just give up the fight all together. My grandmother, being the stubborn woman that she was (God bless her soul), pretty much forced the doctor into telling her that he thought she had only 3 months to live tops. To this day Ill never forget what she did next after getting that dreadful news, she looked up at him with the most serious and most determined look upon her face, stared him right in the eyes, pounded her fist on the table, pointed at him and said "Well I'll prove you wrong!" And as she was saying those words to him she got the biggest smile on her face, which in turn made the doctor get the biggest smile on his face. He then told her "Well you had better [prove me wrong] cuz I'm gonna hold you to it!" I can happily tell you that she lived for another 10 years after that horrible news that day. It just goes to show you with determination, a good attitude, and a whole lot of prayers, Jesus, and the good Lord on your side you can over come one person/doctors odds that they say are against you. But only you and, ultimately, God will determine when your time is up on this earth. And until then love one another, put your faith in God,, cherish this time that you get to make more memories with one another. I hope this helps and I'll pray for you and your loved ones.

God bless

I was diagnosed with extensive bony metastasis in April 2012. Still here

Thank you for answering the questions that were foremost in my mind. It's great to see positive stories and hear of people that are living a new normal life whilst dealing with cancer.

I don't understand how they can give you a prognosis before you even start treatment, everybody reacts differently to all the treatments.

We will fight on, I will look for any kind of research/trials whatever it takes to beat this.

Once again thanks for your reply.