FEELING ANGRY TONIGHT

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Hi

Just want to rant and get things off my chest (pardon the flipping pun)

I am angry as I don't think I was the person I was 3 months ago

I am angry this is happening to me

I am angry as I have not laughed today - lemon face today

I am angry as my legs feel like led - only managed 6k steps today

I am angry as I am having a hot flush - ring me out

I am angry because I am tired and know will find it difficult to sleep tonight - scan due Saturday

I am angry because I have this shitty disease

I am angry because when I am gone some one else (eventually) will be living the life I should be living with my wonderful partner.

I am angry because I am angry

Rant over sorry just feeling very sorry for myself and I can't cry because I too busy being angry

But I am still here

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    , I think we're taking it in turns. You have every right to be angry. Angry at something random invading your body in this way. You have to fight back at it and anger is a good thing. It means you're fighting! Dealing with the uncertainty and lack of control is hugely difficult for all of us I think. Stay strong . We'll get through this together, living with it, not dying from it. Chronic illness, remember! Hope you manage to sleep.

    xx

  • Hi Noswad1

    Thank you for your response. I managed 4 hours sleep - not bad.  I have given myself a good talking to and a feeling better this morning.

    You are right chronic illness so I need to keep that in my mind.

    Think I have scanxiety but onward and upward.

    Hope the call from the hospital is good for you.

    Once again thank you

    Lyn

    Stronger together

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to IamLyn

    Good luck with your scan. We all feel like that about them (and here am I requesting another one!). I still haven't heard anything from my nurse. I can't decide if this is good or bad! I'm loathe to rock the boat again, so I'll leave it now until Monday. Fingers crossed for good news for both of us. Had my second denosumab today and was stupidly cheered up to hear the good news that everything was good with my pre-denosumab blood test. I'll take any bit of good news that I can get these days! 

  • How ironic that we feel we don't want to rock to boat when this is exactly what we should be doing.  I think it is through fear of the results. Please chase them up.  Keeping everything crossed for us.  YAY glad things were good with your denosumab.  Little things...

    Have a wonderful weekend my cyber friend

    Lyn

    Stronger together

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to IamLyn

    Rolling eyes, exactly! Fear of the results... Rolling eyes Good luck to us both (and everyone else on this horrible nightmare of a journey!) for Monday. Until then, stay strong! 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Update - the nurse phoned about 6 and apologised for not having got back to me sooner. We rescheduled for Monday morning because I didn't want to talk with my son here. 

  • Keeping everything crossed

    x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to IamLyn

    And good luck with your scan. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you too!

    x