Dealing with emotions

Hi PaD

I just wanted to let you know that truly understand how you feel. I was diagnosed in April with secondary breast cancer which has spread to some parts of my bones.  First time diagnosis for me.  It truly is a shock to be told firstly you have breast cancer then 10 days later after PeT scan it has spread.  So I cannot be cured either, we are living with a chronic illness but for now still living.

I am still struggling mentally at present but have found that talking about it helps - those friends and family that I speak with don't care that I break down.  I did start to write down my emotions in the first few weeks and I found that helped me a lot.  I have not done that for a while and may at some stage go back to it.

You will have up and down days.  You need to get angry, feel sorry yourself and shout and scream it is part of the acceptance process - well that's what I think anyway.

I did not for one moment think that I would a person that found comfort in using his site but I have as there are so many people on here that truly understand how you feel and are walking in your shoes.

I too have been referred for counselling and my first session is end July.  It took while to get the appointment/s but you will get them. You thoughts and feeling are natural. And it is healthy to someone with no emotional connection with as you truly be yourself without worrying if you will upset someone with how you feel.

Go luck with your scan let me know how you get on. I hope you also get psychologist appt.soon

Stronger together

Lyn x

Hi Lyn

Thank you so much for your reply and very helpful words.  Still living is a great way to describe our situations.  This is so different from my first diagnosis.  Then I felt a cure was possible, the cancer was cut out and treatment started and despite early shock and emotion I soon learned to live with my situation.  This time is so different. given the eventual outcome, that's maybe not surprising. The overwhelming waves of emotion affect everything.  I have to say my family have been amazing, after we all cried ourselves completely dry, they now just carry on talking to me whenever I break down.  This does help me, i can get some control and join in. 

I have a psychologist appointment on 12th July through our local hospice.  The Hospice seem to be the service managing everything, from pain management to alternative therapies, which I have to say has also been difficult to accept.

I am so grateful for this site, despite my initial reservations.  I'm not entirely sure how it works, for instance, do i reply to all posts or pick and choose?  For now I'll muddle through. 

I wish you well and thank you for sharing your thoughts and wonderful words of understanding and support.

May I use your tag line, stronger together.

Pat x

Pat

Hi Pat

I am still new to this site as well. so how I see things is if you want to reply to a post do so.  Some posts do not need responses so you just do what you want to do it is something you are in control of.  I has reservations about using the site but have found it very helpful,  I would rather use this site and post questions or concerns than a scaremongering search engine. 

There are also some great upbeat posts that I have read and some are laugh out loud funny.  You have to laugh.

You need your family and friends and it seems to me they are doing just great for you.

As for me not good news from my blood results - still too high to stay on Ribo so only managed one cycle.  Off to Oncologist tomorrow to start another 'holistic' drug this time Palbociclib (I think) kinder on the liver I am told but harder on the immune system. I will be having this together with Letresole. Also bone strengthening tomorrow as well.  My counselling appointment is on 29th July via my local hospital.

So far I am not in any pain and I hope this continues mind plays tricks - not in pain its not working - in pain its spreading I think that is natural.

Good luck with your appointment on 12th July - Please let me know how you get on.  You can send me a private message if you want a chat anytime.  I do work full time but do sign on every day or so, Just click the envelope right of user name if you want no pressure. I am true technophobe  so still also finding may round. Who cares if you make  mistake xxx

As for my tag line of course you can use it.  I read it somewhere myself so can hardly claim rights to it.  Lets use We are stronger together.

Much love - Hugs

We are stronger together

Lyn x

Hi Lyn,

Hi Sorry to hear about your blood test, I hope your oncologist can offer some more positive news.  I do feel for you, having to work full time and deal with cancer.  I can’t imagine how difficult that must be, I struggle with tiredness and couldn’t imagine having to go to work. I admire your strength and positivity.  We had visitors at the weekend, which created a few difficult moments.  It’s funny how ever day sayings can tongue tie people when talking to people with cancer.  We found we had to give them permission to say whatever they wanted, it eased tensions greatly and created some very funny moments.  

I’m seeing Oncologist on Wednesday to get results from CT Scan, so we are all keeping everything crossed.

i understand what you mean about pain, unfortunately pain has been a central part of my problem.  I have had a bumpy ride with pain relief.  Morphine didn’t agree with me, am now taking OxyContin tablets and liquid,  my poor hubby has to show ID and sign for my pills whenever he picks them up.  I am also taking Letrozole and bone building injections monthly. Will find out on Wednesday if they are still working.

i have been reading what others have written on this site, and it does help, thanks for the tip. Sad that so many are struggling with this horrible thing, but I remain positive, thank you for helping in that regard.

stronger together

wishing you well, 

sending love and hugs and loads of positive thoughts xx