Hi, I'm reaching out I suppose to just lighten the weight in my head. It's been a whirlwind over the last few weeks. I am 55 years old and have BRCA 1 gene, I was offered a risk reduction mastectomy 10 years ago but refused. Over the last year, I had so many mammograms and biopsies.I definitely became complacent with my frequent new lumps. It's only when my skin changed on my breast that I panicked and took up the offer of the double mastectomy with reconstruction. That was on 30th April. Three weeks later, I was told there was cancer in my breast tissue and was sent for a PET scan and ultrasound on lymph nodes. My lymph nodes looked 'exemplary' considering I had surgery only 3 weeks before, they weren't even swollen. I was optimistic attending the clinic on Tuesday for the results of my PET. I learned that I have HER +3 cancer which has spread to my liver and a spot also found on my pelvic bone. Was told it's incurable but manageable with treatment. I'm devastated. I don't see the oncologist until next week. I'm so, so, scared. I have zero symptoms of any nature. I've seen a dentist for a risk assessment (form given by Breat Care Nurse) as one of the treatments I know of is Zoledronic Acid. I now have to have a tooth out next week. Then yesterday all I felt was sick, tired and the need to rest. Now crazy thoughts going through my head that the cancer is rapidly spreading throughout and I'm not going to survive. My husband and adult children are stepping on eggshells around me. I'm putting on a show for them when in reality I am so scared. Keep saying to myself, wait for oncology. I just feel trapped in my body. The surgical bra isn't helping either, I feel strapped up. Just wondering if anyone has any tips that can get me through to Wednesday for oncology appointment. I put this up in 'new to community' group and was advised to join this one. Apologies in advance if you've read it already. Any help, reassurances welcome.
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2026 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007