Traumatized by my mastectomy

Hi KateEF 

You have been through major surgery and it’s not surprising you have had a lot of pain and bowel complications. No two people’s experiences are going to be the same and those who trivialise it perhaps either didn’t have the same surgery or are much further through their recoveries. Mentally it’s tough too as it’s not an elective surgery you would choose to have if you hadn’t been faced with a series of unpleasant choices. I am glad i you are feeling a bit better now you are home. It might take a while but it will get easier. 

(I haven’t had a mastectomy or reconstruction myself but as well as breast conserving surgery I have had 2 cancer operations on my liver and 2 hip replacements and am very familiar with bowel complications). 

Hi there, I had one about 8 months ago, I don’t know why people aren’t given decent pain relief and I am sorry you have had such an awful experience. I was given morphine and took one 5ml spoon at night and slept like an angel and it helped me to relax . As it was so painful and paracetamol etc didn’t touch the sides .  I had a fantastic nurse who said ‘why suffer you are going through so much ‘ . I only needed the stronger stuff for about 10 days and then used paracetamol. The painessens really fast, so you are nearly there now  it’s a lot to deal with both physically and mentally . So be kind and gentle with yourself and allow yourself a few treats and anything you need to get through Xx

Oh lovely firstly massive hugs - it's a massive op! I found in hospital that they would ask how much pain I was in while I was in bed (not a lot) and then get me up! At one point I almost slid of the chair and collapsed and then they told me to ask for codiene each time regardless which helped a lot. My op was on the Tue and by the Fri I just sobbed all day, I felt so awful.

I was also in a lot of pain and screamed when they tried to put a bra on for the first time. That turned out to be the placement of the drain as when they removed it they had said it wouldn't hurt but oh my it felt like I was being turned inside out!

I had my surgery at the end of November and by New Year could walk to the top of the street very slowly while holding on to someone and still couldn't stand up straight - I found it all pretty frightening, especially with the constant fear that it might die. At that point I thought I'd never feel ok again! But I was back to work by mid Feb - the recovery definitely quickened in the second half.

My advice would be do as little as possible and don't rush it. I saw some women saying they were at the pub/exercising etc at the point where I could hardly walk and that really made me feel inadequate. Don't compare yourself to others! For weeks I lived in my bedroom with a comfy chair & TV for when I could get up. I had to borrow a walker from my mil to get up and down from the toilet! You will get there, and it will be worth it. By the time I got to my review I cried with gratitude - it really made me able to forget and move on.

I feel for you. I had a delayed diep flap. I was traumatised after. My body screams everywhere. I remember when I had mastectomy it did not feel as bad. The diep flap is a hard op. I am 11 weeks now. I was using suppositories for weeks. I used movicol daily. I may be back at work just but it’s hard. My back is a killer. I remember crying loads. And having Seroma and having to make weekly trips to be drained. Hospital was miles away. 
good luck and mood does improve. You have had a huge surgery and it will take it’s toll on you 

Hi I’m 7 days in after my surgery I had my left breast reconstructed with implant , altho less than 10 still half that time , I wasn’t allowed water after 7 am I was very dehydrated on the ward after I had to have IV fluids which helped loads , I’m now home and feeling much better I just can’t cope with the drain   Caring it around and can’t wash properly , I find the whole thing especially surgery very traumatising .im still really struggling with my mental health around it all , hope you feel loads better soon 

Hi KateEF 

I’ve just read your post which is now 8 days old and so I hope you are feeling some improvements by now. I sympathise with you, your experience sounds very traumatic. 

My surgery was also long and complex and I think that has a huge impact on your post op pain which is logical when you think about it as your surgeon would have caused a lot more tissue trauma during those 10 hours that you were being operated on. Additionally, the after effects of a long general anaesthetic are more profound.

The problem is that you’re not warned beforehand that you may experience this and all the advice is centred around a speedy recovery and moving/starting the exercises the day after your surgery. So when you find that impossible, you feel inadequate. Comparing your physical experience to anyone else’s is pointless, those that say “it wasn’t that bad, I wasn’t in too much pain after” will have had their surgery tailored to their unique cancer type, size, location etc etc which will be different to yours.

For optimum pain relief, the leaflet I was discharged with says to approach your GP. 

I have tried to accept that the my surgery, my pain, my ability to start the exercises etc is going to be a longer process than most but that the human body is remarkable and my body is working hard to heal. It’s not been easy, I expected to bounce back much more quickly and I’ve had to have a pep talk from my daughter to realise I need to show myself a little more compassion. 

I really hope you have turned a corner and are starting to feel progressively less pain but if not, hang in there, it will happen

It won’t be long till the drain comes out and movement is better. You’re allowed to be overwhelmed. You have gone through a tough time. I had tops with inside pockets from Asda I tried to use but the carry bag which was better worn like a handbag. In the uk they try and take drains out so fast. 
good luck with your treatment.