I am due due to have a lumpectomy tomorrow but thinking of cancelling. I still don’t feel like I have Cancer. I know it, can talk about it but still don’t feel it. My lump is visible so don’t understand. Maybe I’m just not ready
It is so strange, isn’t it? When I was diagnosed last year it was hard to wrap my head around that I needed surgery, radiotherapy and ongoing medication when I had never felt physically better. But, I knew I had cancer and so as far as I was concerned it simply had to be done. I cannot tell you what to do with regards your surgery, only you can decide that, but many people talk about surgery being much more straightforward than they had feared.
I’ve thought this many times but not actually written it before because I don’t want to come across as insensitive, but it’s okay for this not to be a huge life changing thing. Some people really struggle with the treatments and moving on, and the many posts about worrying forever and new normals can make it seem like if you are not feeling that way then something must be wrong. I struggled with the initial diagnosis (mainly because of other factors rather than the actual cancer) and sought support at that time to work that through, but after that it’s been a case of ticking off my treatment plan and focussing on what I can do to be as healthy as possible in the future. I kept being told things may hit me at some point but they didn’t, I had the treatment, recovered and returned to my normal, if anything enhanced by the whole experience. All easy to say with the benefit of hindsight, I know.
Perhaps you are taking things in your stride and are actually more prepared and ready than you think. Sending love and best of luck with whatever you decide. x
Hi Sheelagh I don’t know if it’s the same but a lot of the time I have felt like an onlooker to what has happened rather than actually experiencing everything. It all happens so quickly, it is hard to accept and come to terms with. And I was super healthy and in a good place - tough to understand there was something wrong and I needed surgery etc. I think I drove the medical team mad with all my questions - I wanted to understand everything! Like Eebee says, nobody can tell you what to do. The surgery is a lot easier than you think it’s going to be though (I was terrified). Sending a hug and good wishes x
I just had my lumpectomy 2 weeks ago. I still don't feel like I have cancer either. I'm sorry you are feeling wobbly about it all. That's totally understandable.
I was feeling sort of ok about it and then upset on the day of my surgery when my husband had to drop me off at the day surgery unit, but after that everyone was so kind and it was ok. I went home that evening of the operation and today I've been driving and shopping, so although recovery took time I do feel more like my normal self again.
It still feels strange knowing I need more treatment but I'm just trying to deal with the next thing as it comes along, and some good books, visits with friends and nice walks have certainly helped in the last 2 weeks.
