Just diagnosed and I feel numb

Hi there. So sorry to read about your distress and wanted to say hello.

I'm now 6 weeks post surgery for breast cancer, but completely understand your emotions. After finding a lump and hearing the news it was cancer very quickly, I felt like everything stopped. Numb is a perfect way to describe it...numb, confused, scared, panicked...I think many others on this group will say that felt the same; my head was totally scrambled.

Please don't feel like you are alone. Talking to others that have been in the same position really helped me...my family and friends are amazing, but it does help to have others who have been there and understand. 

My breast cancer nurse has been a godsend - she's very caring and I've built up a good relationship with her and can ask her anything without feeling silly.

Macmillian have support groups you can phone too. I they offer emotional support and I believe also financial advice.

My children are older, but I initially tried to not cry in front of them and hide my emotions, but realised that wasn't helpful, as they were on the journey to. And their hugs were essential!

It's a long time since mine were at nursery, but (and apologies if I'm off the mark, as not sure of your situation) can the nursery hours be registered to your husband if he is working over the number of hours required?

The waiting for results is the hardest part...harder than the surgery in my opinion. I would advise NOT Googling, as all sorts comes up that is scary - I only looked at thd NHS website, Macmillian and Breast Care UK for information once I had my results.

Take care of your self. I found nibbling bits of food good when I lost my appetite as struggled will full meals for a bit.

Sending lots of good wishes and hugs xx

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I can only imagine how tough this must be with small children. Mine are older and I’ve found it all a struggle. I consider myself fortunate.

as the previous post said MacMillan do offer financial advice so I would definitely give them a call. 
someone advised me also to go google something called ’Personal Independent Plan’ - PIP it’s on the GOV.UK website. It offers a payment to help towards various costs. There is a criteria - I didn’t qualify but definitely worth a look.

Also check the website for your council tax and gas provider, they also provide financial support on bills in some cases. Again there is a criteria but it won’t hurt to check it out?

if you aren’t entitled to financial help, is your partner?

I hope you get the help and support you need. 
take care xxx

Dear Sana87 

So sorry to read your post.  Not only are you having to deal with the worry of having breast cancer, but money worries on top. 

I think the only thing to do now is to 'take each stage at a time'.  All this worry is causing you to be more unwell.

So: first thing to do is to call Macmillan and ask their advice on the financial side.  You will be classed as disabled and therefore you have rights under the law - the helpline will give you a lot more information and help guide you more through your money worries.

Telephone number: 0808 808 00

Secondly, yes you will have to have treatment, which being HER2 means it's highly likely you will have chemotherapy unfortunately. Take each part of your treatment as you go along, rather than worry about the next step.  This certainly helped me when I was undergoing my treatment 7 years ago.  I am a lot older than you and a friend of mine was diagnosed at the same time with HER2 - and at nearly 60 years old we are both still going strong, so just remember that the treatment for breast cancer is fantastic!

For the moment - just worry about the step 1 - your blood test and MRI results.  Try your best to not to imagine what happens after as often what you imagine will be a lot worse.

Kindest wishes,Lesley

Dear Sana87,

I was diagnosed with stage one cancer a few months ago at the age of 40, also having noticed a lump so I empathise with the shock you must feel.

My advice is to focus on the things you can control such as healthy eating and exercise. Ask as many questions any can of your breast care team; I found my breast care nurse really helpful and have just finished a radiotherapy session where I was allowed to sit down with their specialists and ask really detailed questions about the treatment plan.

A few of the replies have mentioned disability and they're absolutly right: your employer can't discriminate against you because you're protected by the Equality Act 2010. The act also states that they should make 'reasonable adjustments' for you to be able to work, which I think might include giving you shift times that are suitable for you. I hope that macmillan can tell you more about this. The Citizens Advice Bureau should also be able to give you information.

Aside from the practical aspects, you also need to look after your menal health. Personally, I've found it helpful to tell my friends about my diagnosis and the treatment plan. Like you, I was completely shocked to get this diagnosis at this stage in life and I think my friends were just as shocked. Most people get a bit stuck for words so I usually start by explaining that I found a lump and went to my GP expecting it to be nothing, before explaining how much I know about the treatment plan and how I feel emotionally. Talking about it as well as hearing their concern has been very helpful, especially because many of them have relatives that have been through it so had advice to give. Everyone has offered help when I need it and I've been comfortable asking for help so that I don't get too overwhelmed. These forums are also becoming increasingly helpful as I can see that many people have the same concerns and fears that I do, and loads of people who have been through it provide their experienceand reassurance; we're all here for you if you need us.

Hi Sana,  sorry to hear about your diagnosis, it is very scary, it does get easier when you have a treatment plan.  Like someone said on here, you could apply for PIP but you have had to have the medical condition for three months prior to applying.  You could look at claiming New Style ESA.  You will have had to work and paid in enough National Insurance for the last two tax years.  It doesnt matter what your visa says it is just based on the NI that you have paid in and it doesnt matter if your partner is working or not.  You can also go onto the www.gov.uk and do a benefit calculater , one is called Entitledto and see if you are entitled to any benefits.  I am here if you need any help.  Take care.

Lee x

Thank you everyone for their support and kind words and your information how to deal with it.

i had my MRI yesterday was anxious and nervous inside that loud machine and now have to wait for my consultation next week.

as you said I am waiting for treatment plan and bit scared of my first chemotherapy.

i am waiting for half term to finish them I can be able to call for support and ask many questions when my little one in nursery.

lot of love to all of you and wishing strength in your journey.

sorry for my English writing is bit weak️

I think your writing is wonderful. You should have seen the first version of my original response which was full of errors and sentences that didn't make any sense. I ended up spending quite some time correcting it.