I am due to have a mastectomy left side the 14/1 . Surgeon says it’s a large mass , had ct scan shows nothing in lymph nodes , surgeon not convinced. Had appointment with bcn on video , they will do the dye etc .
I have thrown my self into work to ignore what is happening. Now it’s staring me in my face , I feel I am surrendering all control I have of my life to a new life of treatments and medication and side effects.
I don’t feel brave, I don’t feel ready to have this battle, I don’t envision an enemy invading my body and the need to cut it out . (I had radical hysterectomy previously due to cervical cancer cells, I did feel like that then ) I don’t feel positive about goals in the future to stay and fight for .
I am so scared Of this new life , not being able to work having lymphoedema painful side effects painful joints teeth falling out part of me feels like just walking away from it all, but I don’t have that choice.
is this common? Guessing I just need to know if anyone else feels like this .
From what I can see everyone has different stays they told me two days after the op but I was worried about going home with drain in. I am supposed to be going home today. I feel stronger today . Yesterday I was still woozy from meds etc. some go home the same day depends on your health authority and you . Here generally is two days after op x hope all goes well for you x easier said than done , try to trust in the process and the team around you, they want the best outcome for you .im trying now to focus on recovery and not any further than that. In finding that’s my best way to cope x big hugs and warm thoughts to you xx 
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