Good results but still feeling fearful and emotional

Hi there

I had a right side mastectomy 5th December and like you I have clear nodes, I am currently waiting for an appointment with my oncologist to find out how many sessions of radiotherapy I will be having and also will be taking hormone blockers at some point.

I feel guilty that I won't be having chemo I know this sounds strange but when I'm on here reading posts from other people it really upsets me and I am grateful that I won't have to go through any of that.

Like you i am not looking forward to going back to work it's only been 2 mths since I was told I have breast cancer it's been such a whirlwind.

Sending hugs x 

Hi SJ40,

Like you I've been "lucky" (if any diagnosis of cancer can be deemed lucky!). Mine was also low grade, clear margins and clear lymph nodes and I'm very conscious that it could have been a whole lot worse, especially this last few days when I've been sitting waiting for my radiotherapy with people who are having far more sessions than me, some of whom have been through the rigours of chemo too.

BUT, as my lovely Dad used to tell me - "just because other people have bigger problems than you, it doesn't make yours any easier or any less important".  I've felt like a fraud, guilty, angry, weepy, even euphoric at times, and everything in between. So, be kind to yourself. You will feel whatever you feel. There's no right or wrong way to feel in all this. x

Thank you both so much for sharing your feelings and experiences.   I really appreciate it and I understand and feel it all.  I'm feeling a bit better as today has gone on. 

Sending big hugs x

Same diagnosis as you , last March , so a bit further on . No cancer, whatever grade or stage is a good one and you have had to go through the trauma of diagnosis and treatment.

it takes time . Have you thought about the Moving Forward course Breast Cancer Now ?

MacMillan can help with counselling , if you feel that would help .

There is a well shared article that articulates how we feel , look up Peter Harvey , After the Treatment Ends

Look after yourself xx 

Sorry for the delay responding klf.  I'll definitely be attending the moving forward course and reading the article you've suggested.  Thank you. 

I hope you are doing better.

Take care