New diagnosis, scared of surgery

Hi BoxofFrogs

I can relate to everything you are feeling,  it is perfectly normal and totally terrifying.   Try and tell people how you are feeling,  although hard at first as talking about it makes it real, it does help.

I was diagnosed early October and am having yet more scans next week but as it is a MRI will get my results in a couple of days.

Be reassured that reconstruction is being talked about, my surgeon has told me that I need a mastectomy urgently and as reconstruction at the same time can delay this I will have to wait..   Chemo and radiotherapy for me too for maybe a year.

I feel like life is on hold and I can't plan anything for the future.

I have found this online chat really useful even just putting my thoughts and feelings down helps to release some anxiety so I hope it has helped you too.

Wishing you all the best,  you can do this,  we can and will get through it and there are sunnier days ahead.

X

Hi BoxOfFrogs,

I had invasive lobular cancer and had surgery on 30th August. I had breast conserving surgery with removal of nipple. It’s hard to imagine what you will look like afterwards and I was so nervous. My consultant did a fantastic job though. I have a very neat scar about 6 inches across my breast and a small scar where the sentinel lymph node was removed. Although I have lost half of my breast, when I’m dressed and wearing my support bra it’s hard to tell that one is bigger than the other. 
Due to this, I have decided not to have more surgery to make them even. this is MY choice though. 

I have now had my first round of chemotherapy out of 6 and will have radiotherapy and tablets afterwards. Every one who has been involved in my treatment has been amazing and put me at ease and kept my totally involved with any decisions and choices.

As Harvestmoon has advised, this online chat is a lifeline and there is always someone who has been through the same and can help support you with your fears and concerns.

let us know how you get on x

Thank you Harvestmoon, your words help. Am sorry you're here too. Life is absolutely on hold here too. Quit my career this summer (older people/physical disabilities social work), been working a temp job which ended last week, and can't look for work with this ongoing. My friend just got a temp Xmas job that I'd LOVE and I'm happy for her but it stings that I'm not there with her. Volunteering at a community cafe / garden to keep busy, and it's an amazing place to be, friendly, calm, green. 

Hope MRI results are quick, and your surgery goes well

BOF x

Thanks Dexie61. Lovely dog in your pic, my cat is an amazing comfort just now, esp overnight. I'm so glad to hear you had a good surgery. I'm in Aberdeen, there's a 3 year waiting list for after treatment breast surgery so I've been told to do everything in first surgery. They're planning the most likely options while waiting to get this next biopsy done and analysed. Breast surgeon and an oncoplastic surgeon collaborating. So surgery should be December. Can I ask what your recovery from surgery was like? They're planning chemo starting 2-3 weeks after surgery which seems really soon. 

Just... Thank you 

BOF x

My recovery from surgery was good but I am so lucky to have a really supportive hubby who treated me like a princess. the dog you see is really the devil dog and likes to jump on me when I’m not expecting it so that has been the hardest part!

i have had to wait so long for chemo because it took three weeks for an post surgery appointment and then another two weeks for an Oncotype DX test results and then I had to go through heart ultrasound and ecg to check my fitness. I have had a Picc line put in so it is easier to take bloods and give chemo. It’s not so bad once you get used to it.

I found the lymph node surgery a little more painful than breast surgery and have even been on holiday in between it all going on!

it sucks that you have a three year waiting list, it must put you under pressure to make difficult choices so quickly. If I was younger though I would have opted for reconstructive surgery at the same time. Just make sure you do the exercises and take painkillers when required. Wishing you lots of luck xxx

I took redundancy/early retirement on 1st August after 41 years with the same employer.   No way did I imagine that the good life would end after 2 months but at least I am financially secure and don't have to juggle work and appointments. 

Keeping busy with lots of walks, enjoying parks and nature, lunchtime cafe visits and weekly swims.

It may be the same for you but I find the fear and anxiety comes in waves, I am often on here in the evenings when my family have gone to bed for support or just to learn from others experiences, or early mornings if I can't sleep.

Wishing you all the best for your journey,  we are allowed to be scared and anxious, it is alot to deal with, but deal with it we will.

X

Thank you. That doesn't sound as bad as I'm imagining. Will definitely do the exercises and manage pain. I hate being unable to do things! It's just me and my cat at home but lots of supportive friends. Just don't like imposing on them. xx

I'm lucky that I can manage a break from work financially for a while, but not having sick pay and a job to go back to is scary. 

And yes, very much the same. Evenings and nights are the hardest, I can keep occupied and distracted in the day, and it's easier to be positive in daylight. When it's quiet and dark and I'm alone with my cat is when the fear hits. I also tend to get delayed reactions. I got the diagnosis Wed afternoon, but it wasn't til Thurs night that I emotionally reacted hard. Was so calm immediately afterwards. 

Keeping in mind the people and things I'm doing this for - I have to outlive my 16yo cat who doesn't trust any other human. I want to see my almost 5yo autistic goddaughter grow up. It helps me deal with all the medical stuff that terrified me. So yes, we will get through this! Even if we can't see the path ahead, we'll still walking it. 

xx