Cancelled Operation has Left me Devastated

Hi SusiQ, I am so sorry this has happened to you; it also happened to me so I understand exactly how soul destroying it is. I was bumped down the list as a case arose that was deemed more urgent than mine, which caused so many conflicting emotions! Obviously I totally understood the prioritisation and I would have expected to be bumped up the list myself had the roles been reversed, but nonetheless I was devastated by the delay. I can honestly say that the day I got told the surgery was cancelled was one of the worst days for me throughout this whole ordeal.

Luckily I received a date a week later - I was told that when a case has to be cancelled they do everything within their power to get you rescheduled ASAP. I was also told if you get bumped once you won't get bumped again which alleviated my worries ever so slightly - like you I was terrified it would happen again. I think most NHS trusts will have similar policies so hopefully it will be the same in your case.

I really hope you get a new date soon xx

Hi SusiQ

Sorry to hear that your operation has been cancelled and that you haven't been given an new operation date.  What grade is your breast cancer do you know?  Please don't throw the towel in, I know it's frustrating not knowing when your new operation date is but it will happen.  If you feel up to it why not give your breast care nurse a ring and explain that not knowing when you will finally get your operation is affecting your mental health.  As a general rule tumours don't grow quickly so while there's no guarantee that your tumour won't grow while you are waiting it's unlikely to.

Hopefully you'll have your new operation date soon

Best wishes

Daisy53

Sharlou, thank you for that. I haven't cried once through all of this, but yesterday I couldn't stop. It was such a sickening blow. I had worked so hard to hold everything together, and be organised and it collapsed in a second. I am Bipolar, on my own and have told nobody (by choice) about my cancer. I don't like drama and fuss, but this has devastated me. Not having another date is soul destroying. I am starting to become paranoid and thinking this is all deliberate, but I know it isn't. I'm sure you can relate, but it's like living in a perpetual limbo. The earliest I will hear anything will be Tuesday afternoon which feels like an eternity away. 

My moods are swinging from one extreme to another and I am blowing hot and cold with regards to further treatment. Thank for your wise words xx

Oh SusiQ,  when I say I understand how you feel I totally do.  Happened to me.  Was scheduled for lumpectomy and was getting ready to go to get Ovid test as this was 2022 and  got a call just before leaving home that surgery was canceled.  I didn’t know why but then got call from surgeon’s office that Dr had family emergency and they would get in touch with me next week to reschedule.  Well the emergency was more severe( wife ill).  so they didn’t know when he was coming back.  So I needed to have surgery by his partner.  Saw him and got a date for operation in a few weeks but guess what Surgeon got I’ll snd was to be out for 2 weeks.  I nearly went crazy and was so upset.  The office said I could see someone else and have operation done but I said no that I would wait for the other Dr.  I wouldn’t have had appointment with the last Dr and mentally I was just a mess.   Well initially my surgery was to be 1/12/22 and finally had it done on 2/17/22.  All in all it was hard on me but I finally said there is nothing I can do so tried to just let it be.  I had already had another lumpectomy in left breast in 11/15/21 for a small invasive BC and he wanted to do the other one at that time which had DCIS but I told him that mentally I couldn’t handle both but in hind sight would have been better.  By the way I am doing well had surgeries, bilateral radiation and now on anastrazole.  It is not easy but don’t give up as you will get there.  Hugs to you.

Oh another thing happened just before my second surgery hubby fell off bicycle and needed collarbone plate snd screw inserted two days before my surgery.  I was pretty much on my own as hubby In splint.  Made it anyway through sheer grit.  We are tougher than we know.  

Barbara, I honestly don't know how you did it. My god what determination and fight you must have. At the moment I am stil feeling so angry. It's the not knowing anything that is killing me. I am filled with unbelievable rage, and then I am in tears again. Thank you for sharing your experience and words of wisdom. I shall think of your composure and self control, when I next feel I am losing it.

Thank you x

It certainly was quite challenging but I think since my original surgeon was such a great communicator I knew about my cancers and that they were not aggressive because I was slow to decide what to do.  He came right out and told me a good thing my cancers were not aggressive.  I am the type that wants to have all the details and since I am a retired RN probably not the best patient.  I kept myself busy, exercised, ate well and felt like this was a preparation for my surgery. If you go to surgery in the best shape that you can your recovery will be easier.  Sometimes we just need to let it go but it is not easy.  Hope you hear something soon.  

Hi

i think you’ve have really good advice here

barbara is right look on the delay as time to get yourself in the best possible shape for the operation. Being fit and well truly makes a massive difference to your recovery…….and it’ll make you feel better too!

I wonder if your reaction is partly frustration at the delay (understandable) but also it all just coming out for the first time ?? Not unhealthy if so!! 

I’ve been super upbeat and brave (mostly) the whole journey under one of my kids pranged the car at the which point I completely LOST it!! But it wasn’t about the car I suspect!! 

so anyway 

ring the bcn….. as suggested and tell them how you feel and when you are likely to be rescheduled 

take the extra time (even if it’s just a week or so) to keep fit and well.

maybe you’ll feel better for taking back some power?

all the very best to you

Hi SusiQ

I fully empathise as this happened to me twice. First surgery date was cancelled as MRI showed up further areas of concern so had to have another biopsy which came back clear. I then had a second surgery date given and had all the pre-op but MDT were not happy and said I needed more tests so cancelled again. My previous biopsy results and scans were reviewed by experts in London and they agreed it was clear so finally got a third date and had a lumpectomy and SLNB. I won’t lie, those seven weeks were awful and like you I was worried about spread. However, I am reassured that everything was done to make sure I had the surgery I needed and margins and nodes both clear. Doctors would not do anything to put you at further risk. Please try and trust the medical professionals, you’ll get there. x

Thank you so so much for your words of wisdom, your calming influence, and above all for taking the time to respond to me.

Sue

Thak you Eebee. Deep down I know you are right but that little nagging voice in my head just won't shut up. You are right though. x

Sue