Decisions???

My last meeting with my doctor was 2 weeks ago tomorrow. It was just after I had had an MRI scan. I was told three things: -

1. I had to have a CT scan Why I'm not 100% sure but it was somethig to do with being 100% certain. Certain of what? I have no idea. I do know that I was scanned from my neck to my pelvis, so with my usual over active (healthy) imagiation, I am thinking that the tumour in my breast has spread or perhaps it came from my abdomen area in the first place

2. That my operation date was to be Wednesday 11 September, approximately 6 weeks after I was led to believe it would be 

3. That I was to be put on Letrozole, even though I had said I did not want medication until after any operation, and I had been promised that this would be something we would discuss when the time came.

Tomorrow is my next appointment. They should have the results and be ready to tell me more. However, I have completely lost trust and faith in both my doctor and care nurse. I live alone, and I suffer from bipolar. Knowing these things no effort has been made to check in with me. I realise I am just one of many patients, but I am struggling. I am seriously thinking of stopping this whole process. I can not continue you like, this living in the dark. The Letrozole has caused constipation and I have been in agony. Walking is good for constipation, but I am gettig breathless through lack of exercise, stress and panic. I can feel discomfort where the lump is, and still I know nothing.

I don't want to live like this. It's making me mentally ill. Letting nature take its course is an option I am thinking about. 

Has anyone else ever felt this way? How did you make a decision?