I'm so frustrated, annoyed, upset, scared and numb at the same time and distancing myself from the ones I love! I was diagnosed with a 5cm ER+ PR+ cancer on 11th July. I'd been seen at the clinic on 30th June for mammogram, biopsy and ultrasound scan. Consultant wasn't there and I was told by a Dr on the team that they were worried about my lump and would send me for a ct scan but didn't tell me it was probably cancer even though I "knew" it was! Nor would she give me a reason as to why a ct scan other than it would save time until the consultant is back. There was definitely a language barrier as English was not her first language but I did think I'd get the "we suspect you have cancer" spiel as my mum did at her breast clinic appointment. So being my own worst enemy, I google why a ct scan would be used and get the whole checking for spread and secondary cancer thing running through my head for the 10 days until I get the results. Getting the results that the cancer is only in one breast and not appearing to have spread to lymph nodes was just complete and utter relief! Then another wait - My consultant then said he was going to send my biopsies for HER2 testing which could take 2-3 weeks. Shouldn't this have been done with the ER PR tests? In the meantime I've had a surgery appointment for 16th August. I know everything's a postcode lottery but I'm sick of waiting and not knowing and really frustrated that some can have tests done straight away or treatment a week after diagnosis while others have to wait for what seems like an eternity (although i do realise eternity feels the same whether its a day, week, month etc in the cancer stakes). I work as a TA in a school and I have most of my time off over these 6 weeks and the weather's lousy and I can't enjoy it my time off so I'm sulking and feeling sorry for myself. I know I'll beat my cancer but it's so hard waiting to actually start the killing! Sorry for the long one and thanks for reading x
