Confirmed grade 3 lump breast cancer diagnosis yesterday

Hi Emily43 

I’m sorry you have to be here, but welcome!

I was 46 when I was diagnosed with Grade 2 ER+/HER2- cancer two years ago. My children were older, 16 and 18, but I remember how surreal it was acting like everything was okay until we told them (I decided to wait until I knew my treatment plan), almost like leading a double life. It’s all a big shock and it takes time to get to grips with everything, but it does get easier when you have all the information you need and know what is happening and when. x

Thank you for this. That’s exactly what we thought too. Now we have a date for surgery etc it’s easier for her to hold onto something. I’m getting to grips with it all too so it feels so big at the moment. It’s good to here peoples journeys though as the worst keeps playing out in my head atm xx 

Hi Emily43,

Sorry you’ve had to join the club that nobody wants to be in!  

That said, although I’m considerably older than you, and I know you were looking for others around your own age, I was diagnosed a year ago today (and on my eldest daughter’s birthday), with grade 2 breast cancer, and was advised at my scan and biopsy, that my lymph nodes did not look ‘abnormal’. So very similar to yourself.  However, when my biopsy was reviewed, it was upgraded to grade 3. 

I completely understand about things ‘not feeling real’ at the moment.  When my husband and I went to get my results and treatment plan, and then left, he asked me why I was not concentrating on what was being said, but had just kept glancing over my shoulder at the space behind me.  That was because I didn’t actually believe it was me that my consultant was speaking to, surely it was the woman sitting behind me he was addressing, because there had been some sort of mistake?  I’m sure you get the point that there was no other woman present in the room at the time!

Anyway, long story, MRI, CT, then repeat CT with contrast, to check for spread (because they hadn’t expected an upgrade to 3), surgery (WLI and SNB, which confirmed no spread to lymph nodes), followed by radiotherapy at the Royal Marsden, hormone therapy for 5 years and targeted therapy for 3.

Just know you can do this - I won’t say it’s a doddle, because it isn’t, but most of us seem to gain the strength needed from somewhere, a place inside us, that we didn’t previously know existed. 

I wish you all the best and I hope telling your daughter goes as well as it can, given the circumstances you find yourself in.  You seem a strong young woman, and I feel if your daughter takes after you, she will cope.

With my very best wishes,

Pollyanna 

I think we all jump to worst case scenarios when we hear the word cancer. I know I did! I thought when I was diagnosed that life as I knew it was altered for the worse forever, but that simply hasn’t been the case for me. I recognise that my journey was relatively straightforward (lumpectomy, radiotherapy and tamoxifen), but none of it has been anywhere near as bad as my imagination thought it would be. I didn’t need chemo so cannot comment on that, but I do often read people saying although it is not pleasant it is doable. It’s a big thing, yes, but many people do get through this and back to their normal lives. x 

Hi Emily43 , I’m 46 and I also found a lump that started of as a pea size and is now more a pear drop sweet size … I have been seen and put onto the urgent referral for the two week wait ( which is two weeks tomorrow so I now to to chase this up) do u mind me asking what other symptoms you had if any apart from the lump? 

Im so scared of what is to come next and can’t imagine what its like when it’s confirmed it’s cancer though I have been through it all with my mum every step of the way… 

I hope it goes well telling your daughter as again it must be so hard but your so brave and you will find the strength needed for ur daughter and you will be amazed how she will be strong just like her mummy is . 

all the best huni

Hi there webby81. 
My heart goes out to you so much. You’re pretty much at the same place I am atm. I’m just a few days ahead. Have you had a biopsy yet? 
I had no other symptoms, up until recently where I think I’m getting an ache under the armpit. I’ve told my nurse about it, but I don’t know whether it’s just the extreme stress that I’m imagining it! 
the scan showed no abnormality in the lymph nodes glands luckily. 
I told my daughter with my husband a couple of days ago and she was obviously noticeably shocked and scared at first, but I think it has helped her to see that I’m trying my best to get on and see I’m still my normal self, for the moment anyway.

it must be hard to off seen your mum go through it all and then know your road ahead, but don’t forget, that every persons journey is their own and yours might be completely different in a positive way.

im trying to remember that too. And I’m trying to have infallible faith that I will get better, as what is the point of thinking of anything else. Though faith is an alien concept to me for sure! Training your mind to carry on is exhausting.

i wish I could give you a hug as the fear and waiting is the worst thing. I know a little bit more now about the journey but I have another test still to wait for on Wednesday to see if I will need chemo before surgery (HER2 protein or something) , so it’s another wait, then if not it’s still another wait until surgery. 
It makes you want to scream, as all I want to do is jump into the treatment so I know I’m doing something about it.

so we just have to sit with all that anxiety, and the pressure sometimes is maddening. But latch onto something that gives you a reason to keep going. And it gets a little easier. Not much, but maybe just enough.

Tiny baby steps if needs be, just one foot in front of the other…..

Hi hun ,I’ve not had anything yet I’ve not even had my appointment for the breast clinic I’ve rang my GP this morning and they’ve said because the referral was made through the hospital my local one they can’t intervene. It’s got to be them who chase it up so I’ve rang KingsMill as that’s the number the doctors gave me to call they couldn’t see anything on the system so they’ve now given me another number to ring but I’m sat shaking now thinking how much longer aI going to have to wait if they haven’t made the referral 

It’s just so scary all the waiting around isn’t it …. The not knowing ! 

Oh hun, I know what that’s like. It will come pretty quickly as I was told that the breast clinics usually have a two week turn around, as obs the quicker it is the better. In one appointment I had an ultrasound, mammogram and a biopsy all together. Then I had two weeks to wait before the follow up. 
It’s bloody hard and you have the right to feel overwhelmed, I did, so in that two weeks I contacted a local cancer charity and straight away they arranged for a councillor to see me and we just talked about everything and all the worries and anxiety for an hour, which was a huge relief of pressure. She gave me advice on what to focus on, and told me it’s like we are a pressure cooker and the steam sometimes needs to be released, so cry if you need to. Release a bit of the pressure and it makes the next hour /day better and easier. Do you have anyone in your life? Sometimes just my husbands hand to hold is a grounding force. 
You can live a lifetime in your own head in 5mins so you need to find something to ground yourself, and try to be present. 
I know it sounds airy fairy, but it does help a little. Even, as I said, it’s just enough to get to the end of the next hour or day. 
Keep moving forwards. We can do this. 

I’ve now got my appointment for Wednesday at 2pm so it’s all becoming very real now. I’ve just had a bit of cry as I’m alone. My husband works away all week and I have no family nearby as I lost my mum to cancer 12 years ago and my boys I have three age 27 who struggles with his mental health then my middle one is 24. He has ADHD and autism and my youngest has autism and they both worry and middle lad gas bad health anxiety. I just  Don’t know what to do sometimes I’m just trying to keep busy as always and hide it from them , my My father-inlaw lives local but we haven’t really got that relationship and I have a sister nearby but she’s an addict so this is what I mean. I already have so much going on in life and now this So at my first appointment, will it just be an examination or are they likely to do test?

I’m guessing if they feel it’s more likely due to family history then the tests will probably happen straight away. 
crikey hun, that’s a lot to take on board on your own. I can’t express enough how important it is to reach out and get support. If you don’t have a friend or family member you can do that with, the reach out to the local cancer charities. They will be there to support you, even when you feel alone. When and only if you have a confirmed diagnosis, they will attach you to a community support Macmillan nurse at the hospital who will have a one to one meeting with you to give you all the information you need to find the support you need. 
Saying don’t worry won’t stop you, so I shall say, worry all you like, but remember you aren’t alone. You just might have to reach out a little further than your use to, but reach out you must xxxx