Invasive ductal carcinoma - still in shock

Hi everyone, I'm Jayne.  I would like to say it's so nice to meet you all, but this is a forum I never expected to find myself.

I'm 52, relatively healthy with an absolutely amazing husband and was loving life, running our own business, kids left home, travelling, living the dream to be honest.

Seven weeks ago I had my first mammogram and to my horror a mass was found right at the edge of the scanned image.  I was recalled and went to Swansea to the breast unit for further investigations and was assigned a breast care nurse.  I could not feel this lump, I went to the centre expecting it to be nothing, I was told I may only need another mammogram and would go home, this wasn't the case.  I had a mammogram, an examination (they couldn't feel it either) and an ultrasound where they found it and then a tissue biopsy.  I asked questions 'is it a cyst'; no.... is it cancer ' it could be' was the reply, then I was silent.  Everything goes through your mind at 1000mph, I was dying, my husband was going to lose me, what about my 80y old dad, my 30 y old disabled daughter.

We were going to France in our moho the following week, the BCN told me to go, we did and it was lovely, I forgot about everything!  Arriving back into the UK on Tuesday my phone pinged, it was my BCN asking me to go to Singleton Hospital on the 11th (yesterday)  Heart sanki, forgot all about my lovely holiday and bawled all the way home!!!

I arrived home to a letter asking me to go to Singleton to see a Miss M Dillon - I of course then googled her and she is a Breast Cancer surgeon so I then knew my worst fears had come to fruition, I had BC.  Told the family who all said it'll be nothing, a fatty lump, benign, nothing, but I knew.

Went yesterday to Singleton and in comes the BCN carrying some paperwork, it was only me and my husband in the waiting room,  my leg was shaking that bad he had to hold it down, we were taken to a lovely pink room with soft seating with 'Counselling suite' on the door, I bloody knew then.  I asked the BCN is it cancer, it's cancer isn't it??  She said 'wait for Miss Dillon' I said I know it's BC now I'm in a bloody counselling suite, I completely fell apart.  My BCN spoke to me about the holiday, asked about theb kids etc, all I was thinking was I'm going to die, it was my last ever holiday.

The BCN was right, once I had met Miss Dillon it was like the hugest weight had been lifted off my shoulders, yes I do have caner, but it's EARLY, stage 1.  She said it's basically the best it could be, plan is magnaseed in within 10 days or so, a wide local incision and removal of 'Norman the squatter' and some surrounding breast tissue the second week of June, 5 consecutive days of radiotherapy once healed (about 4 weeks after) then tamoxifen for ten years.  And I gues that's it, we soldier on, thank god for it being so early and wait to get it done.

Biopsy results : Grade 1 Intermediate Ductal Carcinoma, oestrogen and progesterone positive.

Sentinel lymph node biopsy (they look and feel clear she said)

Radiotherapy and endocrine (tamoxifen I presume) therapy. 

HER2 negative (which is aparently a good thing!!!)

We soldier on 

Jayne